Wednesday Evening Update

Toured Legacy this afternoon - nope.   It is nice, clean, but dark.   The other place has high ceilings, is more open, and has a more home like feel.   Walked through the Alz units, and they were about the same size as the other place.  Just didn't feel like it would be a good place.  It is also waaay more than Chancellor.   They have inclusive rate which includes personal care, food, and medication management.  If we went here, we would end up paying close to $1500.00 out of pocket...AFTER insurance.  After speaking with Abby at Chancellor today, we would end up paying about $800.00 out of pocket/after insurance.  

Eric, the folks, and I are going to lunch at Chancellor on Saturday.   When I talked with Abby today, she gave me the run down on what the nurse thought dad's level of care would be, which is that additional $800.00.  This includes medication management, personal hygiene care, and laundry once a week.  After they are in there for about 30 days, they re-evaluate the care level.  Sometimes, they don't need as much after they are settled in. Other times, they need more.  Varies.  Oh yeah, Abby said that once they are admitted, the family may need to let him settle in, and not visit for a few days to a week or so.   Seems to be a normal adjustment period for Alz people.

They do have a waiting list now, but that changes all the time.  I told Abby I would let her know next week if we wanted to be on the waiting list and drop a check by, if that is what is decided.

When Fred was up putting on the door sensors today, he talked with Dean a long time about dad.  Dean said he would definitely think that dad would just wander out and off one day.  When Dean has been there, he has had to stop dad from going out and just wandering around in the cold.  This is part of  losing sense of everything - inhibitions, cold, hunger.   By the way, Fred said Dean has a horrible chest cold - deep, deep cough.   Sounded and looked awful.   Fred suggested he get to a doctor, since there is a lot of crap going around.  "No, just honey and vinegar, Fred."

Talked to mom tonight.  Gave her the rundown on the above, both facilites.   While I was there, the agent of the long term care insurance (and other insurance) called mom.  He was on my list to call, so we set up an appointment for me to call him tomorrow afternoon.   I need to let him know what we are doing, so he can at least start getting paperwork ready.  Told mom that although I know this is difficult, we need to let Chancellor know what we are doing by next week.   If/Once the decision is made, we are going to need to get ready for when they call.  Bed, furniture, linens, towels, etc.   And, I need to know what to tell the insurance dude, and give Bart Williams the go ahead to sell some stocks, and let him know how much we will need each month.  She knows, and is feeling guilty.  Told her that is normal, but the guilt can't be the thing that prevents her from moving him.  Her safety, her health, and dad's health is what we need to keep in mind.  Yes, she talked with Carolyn, (another friend, she seems to have lots of girlfriends!).  She had a friend who was taking care of her husband at home, and she ended up having a heart attack one day.   The stress had become overwhelming, and it took it's toll.  There was an adjustment period, but she is now doing well, as is her husband.

While I was there, dad wandered around a bit.   Asked me if I knew the score of the game, and I told him I hadn't heard yet.   He sat back down in his usual spot and slept.  When I left, I kissed his cute forehead and told him I loved him.  He mumbled. There is nothing easy at all about any of this.   This tears my heart out, and I can only imagine what it is doing to mom.  I backed out, saw that head in the window and mom waving, and I cried most of the way home.