Kinda late posting this. I had a long talk with Mom last night about 8pm. She was watching Lawrence Welk and Pop was asleep on the couch. We talked about how She feels She is betraying her husband of 62 years by not telling him about what we are planning for his future. Hopefully I got her to understand that the way things are right now, telling him will accomplish nothing and may make things worse, if he even understands it to start with, which he most likely wont.. She is afraid he is going to be mad and really confused when he has to move into a strange home and she feels so guilty about doing this. But,,she knows it is the right thing to do. We talked about how it is as important for her own safety and stress control as it is for his, and she sez she understands that part of it. Got her to understand that she has to look at the whole picture, which also includes her quality of life, and not just how Dad will feel about it.
It sounds like she has put a lot of thought into the fact that she will be there alone and actually seems to be fine with that. I told her I worried about her being there alone in that big house, and maybe you have a girlfriend or someone that could move in with ya or come and stay sometimes or something. She said she would rather be by herself than have to deal with someone else's issues too. So, I got the impression that she has come to terms with what needs to be done but she is still just feelin' guilty about it and feels like she is just dumping her husband off for someone else to deal with.
She does understand that if Dad gets worse and requires more care like changing diapers or gets physicallly violent, she would not be able to cope with it at all. She cried a little bit, and told me how much she appreciated all us kids helping her deal with this, visiting, and calling her all the time. We all need to keep doing that beacuse it is a source of comfort to her and a chance for her to vent and discuss her thoughts too. She really enjoyed the ride up in the mountains to see the blue sky.
I am going to call her again tonite too.
I think mom has accepted that fact she will be alone. She and dad have told each other everything, so I get where she feels like she is betraying him. I am glad you talked with her, Trent.
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