Fred, Chad, and I ran up to the folks this afternoon. When we arrived, dad was in his usual spot and mom was in the family room. She had "that" look on her face. They made it to church, but I guess dad dozed and when he woke up, he was disoriented. Started hitting his fist against his hand, and looked at her like he was angry. She was afraid he was going to start yelling. He didn't, though. When they got home, she suggested he change his clothes. She was irritated when he came out with his pajamas on. Told her well, at least he changed. Suggested that she show him which clothes, and she told me "that doesn't do any good." Said the morning was good, he took a shower without any fight. She said he gets so smelly sometimes, she can hardly stand it. Said he just doesn't care. Reminded her he no longer has the capability to care, he doesn't know what caring means. Dad didn't know who any of us were, but he did recognize Fred. Mom came in and sat down and he asked he where she lived. She told him she lived with him, and it is their 62nd wedding anniversary this week. I asked him if he remembered getting married, he said yes. He asked if they got married in the temple, and I told him the SLC temple, and pointed to the picture on the wall. Nodded his head and said oh yeah. He asked where I lived, and how long it took to get there.
Guess there is a lady in the ward who is starting her own business of taking care of aged people. She told mom she would come in and sit with dad and wouldn't charge her, because she thinks so much of them. Told mom she needs to take her up on this. Then the lady told her to keep dad home as long as possible, as have other well-meaning people. This woman told mom the places just zap your money. You know, this bugs me when people say this, because they haven't had to deal with Alz. While I don't like having to put dad somewhere, the physical and emotional toll it takes on mom (and us, at times) is something that can't be described. Unless you've lived with it, you don't really know.
Talked with mom in the kitchen, and she started crying. Said it scares her when dad gets that wild-eyed look. She is afraid he is going to come after her. Told her if that happens, to call 911, then Eric or Dean. We talked a little bit and she seemed to cheer up, somewhat.
When we left, she seemed fine, but then said, "You haven't been in here very long. " Told her I do what I can, we visited for 1.5 hours, and I needed to get home. She said, "That's not very long at all.". I apologized, but told her we had to get home. She then kind of laughed, but I felt extremely guilty all the way home. Will call her later tonight.
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