Fred is going up tomorrow to install the bells on the doors tomorrow. That is the number one priority, because if dad decides to wander in this weather, he wouldn't last long. A couple of things from today,via Fred:
He said the house smelled strongly like pee. Dad fell asleep halfway through the conversation. The nurse asked if he felt physical therapy would help dad with his weakness. Come to find out, dad still does his exercises every morning. Didn't know this. That is probably why he is in such good shape physically, other than the wobbling. The nurse said the Alz patients often respond well to physical therapy, because it stimulates them, and they are not just sitting. Dad's blood pressure and heart rate are all in good shape. Mom told the nurse several times, that "I don't think I can take this anymore". Fred said mom was not upset or on edge, just very matter of fact. In fact, he said mom seemed to be more engaged on top of things than she has in along time. Dad didn't know Fred, said he looked familiar but he couldn't place him. Fred told him he was married to his daughter, Celia. Dad said it didn't sound familiar. I remember when we met with the people at Chancellor, they said we could bring dad in anytime. I talked to mom tonight, and proposed we take dad to lunch on Saturday. She is open to it. I will also stop by Legacy on Saturday morning, and see what they have to offer. I am looking at all sides here, dad may do much better in a facility. He has no stimulation, and they have activities and physical therapy available. He would get 3 good meals a day, as well as snacks. And, if he decides to wander, he can't wander off and get lost in a snow bank somewhere. When I talked to mom tonight, she said she doesn't really think dad went outside last night. Still insists he wouldn't. Reminded her that he has done a lot of things that he wouldn't have done, so we can't keep telling ourselves this. It bothered her that dad didn't know Fred. She asked if it bothered Fred. Told her no, Fred, as do all of us, understand that this isn't dad, it's the disease. Then, she said, "I wish I could look at it that way." Ugh. She was calm tonight, said she has some thinking to do. Dad has slept most of the day on the couch, and she said she wasn't going to do anything tonight that would antagonize him. I told her that when she talks to him tonight, keep it simple, to avoid more confusion/frustration. Then, she said she may get out the Sorry game, maybe it will help him. Told her I would think that would create more confusion - keeping track of the counting and everything. She agreed that even when they played over a year ago, dad would get confused then. So, probably not a good idea. Told her to just keep things as they are, just don't pester him and give him so many choices. She said she would. So, that's it.
Eric, if you are up for lunch on Saturday, let me know.
I will keep everyone posted once I make some phone calls tomorrow.
I can't beleive that we are at this point. I also talked to mom tonight. She told me the same thing, that dad didn't go outside. I don't think he did either, but that doesn't mean he won't try. She said that she needed to think about things, and I agreed with her, stating that it needs to be her decision. I talked to David tonight. He is aware of what is going on, and agrees that the assessment was a good thing to do. I told him that I would keep him updated.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts on all this and visiting with mom about every day, I think she's torn with all the feelings that is involved. However, I really think deep down she's probably made her decision. It's just taking that final initial step of going with it and going thru the process. Dad will be gone, she will be living alone and it will be a whole different life. But when you try to set aside the deep emotion that it all conjures up, I think it will probably be a good thing. Mom will be relieved of his primary care, she will be freed up to come and go as she pleases, she can see him whenever she wants and even bring him home or stay there with him, dad will probably be more stimulated with all the people around and the activities. Pretty much all he does now is sit. He dosen't know that "home" is "home" most of the time now anyway. And doesn't always know who mom is either. I'm just trying to look on the positives of this, I am not devoid of emotion or out of touch. This is hard on everyone, especially mom. But that final step of actually doing this is the hard part. Acutally moving him in there.
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