I love this photo, Grandpa was super happy this day. He was having fun teasing and joking around with the boys. 

One of my favorite memories was on Christmas day teaching Grandpa how to play wii. He loved the golf and was fascinated by this technology. 

Charles Leth Maughan Aug 8, 1928 - Sept 25, 2013

Exactly 7 months to the day we moved Chuck to the facility, he passed away around noon, on 9/25/2013.  My emotions are all over the place this morning, and I will post more on this blog when things settle down.   We are glad he is at peace and free from the horrible disease that ravaged his mind and body.

Rest in peace, Pop, and enjoy your family and the new fishin' hole you have undoubtedly already claimed as your own.

Some Grandpa Memories...

So it would figure I'd post for the first time the day that Grandpa passes. I'm sure he's gettin' a little laugh outta that right now.

Hi Fam...and relatives...and whomever else may drop by to read about Chuck. Feelings and emotions are a little raw right now but I'm gonna do my best to keep things halfway coherent.

 Wow, oh wow...where do you start with a man like Charles? I'm guessing he gave a soft "Well good morning.." to whomever greeted him and let out that subtle chuckle. (Hey, he'd like that one!!) Grandpa always began each conversation, at least in the phone calls we'd have, with a "good morning," no matter what time of day it was. Always made me laugh. And, like it's been throughout the night, now it's starting to make me cry...pardon me, lemme grab a kleenex...that's five used up in just the last 30 minutes. Maybe we'll double that by the end of the post...

It was a week ago Sunday that I saw him last. Aislinn and I were in town, getting ready for a big ol' family vacation in southern Utah as we left the next day. The Wife--Aislinn--, myself and Mom stopped by his happenin' pad. Walked past a gaggle of the old folks in the big room watching TV. I just smiled nervously because I had that knot in my stomach, knowing that knot would turn into tears as soon as I walked in the room. And, yeah, the floodgates opened. He was asleep in the chair as a John Wayne movie was on TV. Mom leaned down, kissed his head and tried to wake him a little. He struggled, kinda opening one eye and and then back to sleep. Aislinn and I sat down on his little couch as Mom tried to talk to him again. It was then I had a conscious moment to take this all in because I knew this would probably be the last time I'd see him on this side. It was tough. Very tough. It felt like thousands of memories sped through the head in a matter of seconds. More tears...both at the home that day and right now. I watched him struggle to itch his head and his right cheek, just below his eye. Yup, I was thinking to myself, looks like he's gettin' ever more ready to make that cross pretty soon. He was probably in some pain we'll never know but now that's gone...and that's--to use one of Grandpa's words I remember--dandy knowing he's not suffering anymore. Our whole visit lasted all of ten minutes, if that. The previous time I'd seen Grandpa was last November when Aislinn and I came back for our Utah wedding shindig. He was walking around, seemed a little tired but was, ya know, bein' Chuck. The visit last Sunday was like night and day from November. Getting back in the car, I was quiet as some pretty massive waves of emotion hit. I remember feeling a little angry too...just mystified that this disease of Alzheimer's could, well, do this to someone we all love so dearly...and how hard it is for other families too, I'm sure, that have to go through this. We went back to Grandma's place 'cause we was gonna have ourselves a good ol' fashion Maughan Weenie Roast. It helped a lot to be around the Fam and see Grandma...Eric and Debbie were there with Kash...Ryan and his wife showed up for a bit...and Dean and Virgie stopped by too. Had been a long time since I'd seen Uncle Dean too. I knew he was in rough shape too but you sure as hell wouldn't know it by talking to him. Still as gracious as ever. And, just like his brother Charles, still very insightful because he said something before they left that is gonna stick with me...I'm paraphrasing here but it was along the lines of, "Oh Charles and I will be seeing each other here pretty soon..." in his wonderful Dean-sing-songy voice. I walked back in the house, looked right at Mom and said, "You hear what Dean just said?" Mom and everyone in the kitchen just cracked a smile. Leave it to the Maughan brothers to reassure everyone else it's gonna be alright. I know it's not his time yet but I'm sure Grandpa's having fun seeing all the old siblings and gettin' Dean's room ready whenever that may be.

I'll tell ya another thing too: he loved the absolute hell outta his grandkids. And, man oh man, did I love him back. (Yup, more tears...here we go). Words cannot remotely do justice or even begin to encapsulate how I feel about him and how much I'll miss him. He touched more lives than he'll ever know and I was lucky enough to be there, basically, from the ground up. I have so many fond memories of living in Layton as a kid (and even a couple times through college.) The garden...the rabbits...the corn...the raspberry patches...burning the garbage...the sheds and how creepy I thought they were...standing in the front room and watching storms roll across the lake...hearing him talk about F16s and all the cool things he did at HAFB...bread and gravy...rolls with Grandma's homemade jam...so many more. Through my eyes as a kid, he was the first adult I thought was truly invincible. He was there for you at any time. He always listened. He thought about things and gave you his answer knowing he couldn't make the decision for you but you'd walk away knowing you'd be stupid not to take his advice. He loved to laugh too. Some of the best memories are being at the house and hearing Mom and Eric go back and forth with Grandma about something (Oh honestly, you two!!) and Grandpa just laughing on the couch, oftentimes with little tears rolling down his face knowing that Mom and Eric got Shirl pretty good. (Crimi-nut-ly, you two!! That's e-nough!!) And Grandpa was always good for a massive burp (either saying BURP as he burped or BRRAAAPPP...well played Chuck), in the house or out in the garden. Hey, where's Grandpa at? BBBBRRRRAAAAPPPP!!! Ahh, found him...he's in the raspberry patch. Those raspberries were the perfect topping for one of his favorite, and mine too, snacks: ice cream. I don't think there's ever been a time where Chuck and Shirl's didn't have some ice cream. Ice cream was always a treat before bedtime...after I'd watched Channel 5 weather 'cause I liked the clouds they used in their forecast, although soon as I heard the theme from MASH, I knew I had to hit the sack where he told awesome versions of Jack and the Beanstalk and Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Ice cream continued the bond throughout college when I'd stop by for some Sunday dinner after they got home from church. We'd gab about the news, sports...really anything. I was always fascinated by his opinions, especially as I got older. He was man of such faith and conviction and moral character. All of that informed his thoughts but he would never--as others have expressed too--judge others. Amazing, amazing man he was...

Love ya, Grandpa. Just plain ol' vanilla with a little chocolate sounds great...

Update, September 24th, 2013

Deb stayed with dad last night, and it was rough.  He was moaning, shaking, was agitated and in obvious pain.   Morphine was given to him about 2:45 a.m., but it didn't seem to do much.
Today, the Hospice nurse visited again.  Dad continues to decline, and they have ordered morphine every hour to manage his pain, and perihalidol to help with the combativeness.   (He slugged Deb this morning, and managed to get a good slug in on my back yesterday morning.   He is swinging at the aides,  as well.)   The main objective is to keep him comfortable, and this will also help in transitioning the spirit from the body. It will only be a matter of days, and he will be free of pain.

Comforting Memories

Got the news yesterday that Grandpa was about ready to go.  My kids all started crying.  To comfort them, I started to tell them some of my favorite memories of Grandpa.
He taught me how to cook a hot dog over the fire.  He was very serious about it.  Told me that you got to make it sweat, and it needs to be black on the outside or it won't taste right.
I have many, many memories of following him around as he "puttered" in the garden.  From the time I was very little, until just a few years ago, he and I would walk around in his garden and he would teach me about plants, proper watering, and fertilizer techniques.  I got my love of gardening from him.
When I was in college and would come visit the grandparents, I caught him several times out checking the tire pressure in my tires and my oil levels.  He would get after me if I caught him.  That's the kind of man he is/was.  He never sought praise or recognition.  He was a gentleman, and service oriented.
I loved combing through his rows of books.  I loved watching him read, and later listening to Gma read to him when his eyesight got too bad.  He showed me by example that he loved learning and that it should be a lifelong pursuit..
I remember sitting next to him and watching in wonder and awe at his flying fingers as he played the piano.  I had a favorite song, but didn't know the name until I heard it in high school.  When I did, I immediately recognized it and learned that it was known as the "Flight of the Bumblebee".  Every time I hear it, it takes me back to when I was so young and sitting next to Gpa watching him play.
I grew up loving to watch Gma and Gpa interact with each other.  Such love, honor, and respect between them.  Gpa always took care of Gma, and Gma took care of Gpa.  Their love story is one for the history books, and something that we can look to and try to emulate.
I told my kids that Gpa is a superhero. He lived a life that he can be proud of, and one that we can learn so many lessons from.  What a noble heritage he has left us with.  He makes me want to be a better person, so I can strive to be worthy to call myself his granddaughter.  I feel so blessed to have been taught by him, and to have been loved by him.

September 23rd, 2013. Almost Ready to go Fishin', or Golfing, or Looking at Cars....

I have such mixed emotions as I write this.   The last week has been rough for pop- he has declined rapidly.   Pop is almost at the end of his mortal life here, and will soon be free of pain and his Alz.   This makes me relieved and happy for him.   However, my heart aches like it has never ached before, with the sadness that he is leaving us.   He is an incredible example of a kind human being, and that is something I will always remember about him.  He never judged anyone, and was always willing to give people second and third chances.  My emotions and thoughts are not exclusive to me at all.  I know that family and friends share the same thoughts, in addition to their very own special memories of Chuck.

I had the honor of spending the last 24 hours with him, as he would go between sleeping peacefully and mumbling things I could not understand.  He was clear on a few things though, and that is the fact that he was talking to his mother, and also mentioned that "they are working on me."  When he would get agitated and restless, I would sit by his side, put my hand on his head, and assure him I was there.   He knew I was there, just as he knew when other visitors came in.  I fed him applesauce and his appreciation of feeling this in his dry mouth was clear.   When I left him this afternoon, I kissed his head and held him for a moment.  He opened his eyes and smiled.

The Hospice nurse tells us he has a few days.  It is possible he could rally, but the likelihood of this happening is slim.  He is almost ready to go.   We are waiting for him to take that final walk and be free of his pain.   We can only imagine the reunion he will have on the other side, and how happy he will be to see his family.   We do know that once he passes, he will be the real Charlie, the one we will deeply miss, but will always remember and keep in our hearts.

Hope you are at peace soon, sweet Pop.

Memories from Uncle Gary (dad's younger brother)

Wanted to share the info below from Uncle Gary, dad's younger brother.  Gary is the youngest of all the Maughan kids.   This is in an email from Uncle Gary to Trent.  Great memories, Uncle Gary.  All others, please feel free to add memories, or email Celia at jabugrizz@aol.com, and I will copy them in here. 

I didn't go see your Dad and your Mom didn't encourage us to go see

him.   I have so many great memories of Charles.  He baptized me down in

foxley's pond when I turned 8.   I grew up around motorcycles/ model T's

/ A's and hot rods your Dad collected.  Some went very fast.  There was always an air of excitement when we got to ride with him.  I was in the rumble seat of his Model A that Marion was driving when she ran into the back of Doyle's car on the hill field road.   That was a wreck.  I have

nothing but good memories of your Dad.  He was a great Dad/ husband / brother.  I can't imagine him only weighing 130# and wasting away in body and mind.  Hopefully freedom will come to him soon.  Anyway,

Love,  Gary

 

 

Sunday, September 8th

Popped in to see dad a little after 10 this morning.  He was watching football on tv in the big room, and had just gotten back from church.  He asked me who I was, and I told him one of his daughters.   Told me  looked like a boy.   (Probably.  It was raining really hard today, so I just put on a baseball hat and a t shirt).  He hadn't been to church in several weeks, and he said he enjoyed himself.   Looked pretty good, sitting there with his John Deere hat on.   Guess the speak at church was named Charlie, and when they called his name, dad got up.   The volunteer gently helped him sit down.  Dad said, "I found out something today."  Asked him what.   "I can't sing."  Told him he has never been able to sing, and he laughed.   Asked him if he remembered sitting on the stand and mouthing the words to the songs in church.  He was thinking really hard, and then said, "Yup.  I was the bishop."  Wow - can't remember his kids, but he can still remember this.  Amazing.   He asked me how old I was.  Told him 51.  He about fell off his chair and said, "I should be long gone by now."  Told him he just turned 85 last month.  Again, he was thinking really hard and said he remembered.  Said he was ready to go to his room and sit on his couch.  He dozed and mumbled a bit, but was awake enough when Maritza, the aide, told him she liked the sweet Charlie better than the mean one, that he smiled.   I took him to the table when it was time for lunch.   They were telling him what they were having and he perked right up at the mention of turkey, mashed spuds and gravy, and strawberry cream pie.   Got him settled, gave him a hug and a kiss and told him I would be back soon.   He said ok, and that it was sure nice to visit.  It was good to see him today, and not asleep.   Guess he has had a pretty good week - eating and sleeping.    Eric and mom stopped in tonight, and Eric said he was still awake and talking.   He did start to doze, though, after a while.  

Update, September 2nd

Fred and Eric moved dad closer to the front of the home a week ago this past Saturday.  This seems to have been a really good move, because he doesn't need to walk very far, and there are more eyes on him.   Hospice has been going well, they come in every weekday, and the nurse comes in twice a week.   Dad is sleeping more and more, and when he is awake, he is easily agitated.   The doc did order a very small dose of haliperadol to be given as needed.  This is a drug that helps calm alz patients, and they have had to give it to dad a few times.   It doesn't knock them out, just helps the agitation.   I will continue to keep things posted, but things are status quo right now.