It was great to see all of our Family last week. Not much new to report about C&S that I have not already told you or that we have not already discussed. Of course, still one of my main concerns is Chuck getting enough nutritious food to eat. I just do not have the confidence in Shirl to keep him protiened up, which is the best for him. Even when we all take 'em a buncha good food, it just goes in the freezer and gets freezer burn. We ate breakfast before stopping in there on our way out on Sat am. Shirl wanted to fix us breakfast and seemed put out that we did not let her make us waffles. Told her to go ahead and eat a good breakfast. She said, Oh, we will prob just have cereal. I said, Mom, you have ham from Celia, turkey and cheezy spuds from us, and more food from Eric & Debbie stacked in that fridge, so make a good breakfast, cuz Pop needs his protein. She said, Trent, we cant eat meat every meal!! And we eat plenty of protein. I told her I will go in that kitchen right now and make you both ham and eggs and spuds in 10 minutes. Of course she was not gonna go for that.
Told her again that Pop needs protein in the morning to help him get thru the day better, but it fell off of her painted on ears. Breakfast at Cracker Barrel Fri, Chuck ate 3 huge pancakes, an egg, 2 pieces of bacon, my baked apples, and 2 glasses of orange juice. He never said a word. Just ate. I wished later I would have put some chunks of my steak on his plate too. And we didnt ask him what he wanted, just ordered it for him. Put it in front of his mug and he will eat it...no problem.
Sigh....
Monday, December 31, 2012
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Christmas Eve Day and Other Stuff for the Week
I'm a little late in posting this. Eric and fam, along with mom and dad came down Christmas Eve Day. Dad was pretty lucid, although he kept asking if he had been to my house in the past. Ate a bunch of food, and actually joined in some of the conversations. Likes the microwave fudge I made. Good thing, this seems to be the only fudge I can seem to get right. Maybe I will take him more when I go up tomorrow. Eric took Lillian up with him, (Fred's mom) and Lori met them at the folks' place. Lil was helping dad take off his coat, and he told her how glad he was that she was part of the family. He kissed her on the cheek, kissed her on the other check, then went in for the mouth, but Lil handled it well. She just backed up a little. The is not dad, and the thing with Alz is they start losing all inhibitions. Sad. Dad wouldn't never have done this, but Alz Dad does.
Talked to mom this morning, she was exhausted. Dad was up and down all night, and was also pretty "cross" last evening. He went to bed at 8:00, and she was happy for the peace and quiet. Trent and I were talking last night, and discussed the possibility of other options. I know there are day care type facilities for Alz patients, where they will have activities and stuff. Found one on the internet last night, and will ask Abby at Chancellor Gardens about these programs. Plan on trying to reach her tomorrow to discuss, as well as setting up an assessment time for dad. When we did meet with her a few weeks ago, she said if dad wasn't a good candidate to live there, there were other options we could look into. Dad seems to do better when he gets out more, at least on the surface. But, the evening and nighttime situations would still be a concern. Mom can't continue with the nightly, or almost nightly, wanderings and hallucinations. Ugh. This stuff is tough. There isn't an easy answer to any of this.
Trent came down this past week, and this was great for both mom and dad. Ann was down a few weeks ago, and I know all of us call mom on a regular basis. She still needs this support, and seems to look forward to our calls. We are all in this together, and I love that my sibs are just a phone call or text away.
Talked to mom this morning, she was exhausted. Dad was up and down all night, and was also pretty "cross" last evening. He went to bed at 8:00, and she was happy for the peace and quiet. Trent and I were talking last night, and discussed the possibility of other options. I know there are day care type facilities for Alz patients, where they will have activities and stuff. Found one on the internet last night, and will ask Abby at Chancellor Gardens about these programs. Plan on trying to reach her tomorrow to discuss, as well as setting up an assessment time for dad. When we did meet with her a few weeks ago, she said if dad wasn't a good candidate to live there, there were other options we could look into. Dad seems to do better when he gets out more, at least on the surface. But, the evening and nighttime situations would still be a concern. Mom can't continue with the nightly, or almost nightly, wanderings and hallucinations. Ugh. This stuff is tough. There isn't an easy answer to any of this.
Trent came down this past week, and this was great for both mom and dad. Ann was down a few weeks ago, and I know all of us call mom on a regular basis. She still needs this support, and seems to look forward to our calls. We are all in this together, and I love that my sibs are just a phone call or text away.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Christmas Day 2012
Well, had a good day with mom and dad today. They made it over around 10:30 or so. They ate as soon as they got here. Dad was pretty talkative, and ate well. After that, they settled down for a nice 3 hr nap, both of them. Mom woke up a couple of times, joined in any converstaion that was going on, then right back to sleep. Dad finally woke up and was very disoriented, probably the most I have ever seen. He was looking for "critters". Matter of fact, he was so obsessed about finding a critter, he would not sit down and eat again. He kept getting down on the floor and looking under the counter and table. Then he went into the bedrooms, and finally outside onto the patio..no critters. He seemed stumped. Then he said he wanted to go home. It was very sad. All in all a good day though. Sent them home with some food.
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas!
Sunday, December 23, 2012
"Shitty" Evening at the Maughan's
Ha - that word got your attention, didn't it?? I talked to mom around 7 last night, and could tell as soon as she answered the phone that things weren't good. Asked if she'd had a bad day, and she started crying. Said, "to be honest, the evening has been pretty shitty". Ouch. Mom never swears. Guess the morning went well, but as the day wore on, she said dad was mean and very antagonistic. She just wanted him to get to bed so she could have some peace and quiet. She was very happy that Erica and fam stopped by, but seemed to be puzzled that dad didn't know them. I reminded her, again, he does not know what he does or says. Also reminded her the sundowner's kicks in toward the end of the day, and that, combined with a prior restless night, she needs to just assume the day won't be the best. Dad was in the shower when we talked. I guess when she was helping him get ready, she wasn't moving fast enough, and dad told her to "hurry it up." Called her back about 9:30, and dad had been in bed about 45 minutes and she was doing OK. Just talked to her this morning, they both had a good night. Dad was up once and as of 8:30, was still in bed. Margo and Gerry are coming over today, and then the Childs' will come over - their friends from Arizona. She is going to try to get to church, but it depends how easy it will be to get dad moving.
Note: Dean and chicken story (See Erica's posting) is hilarious!!
Note: Dean and chicken story (See Erica's posting) is hilarious!!
Saturday Afternoon Visit
We actually went over yesterday afternoon to visit and although Grandpa was extremely tired from the rough night he was very happy. He was happy to see us and he stood and stared at me smiling and said I looked very familiar to him and asked where I was from. When I told him I was Trents daughter he looked confused, I asked him if he knew who Trent was and he laughed and said yes but then stopped laughing and said no. I asked him who was the president of the United States and that really seemed to confuse him. He sure likes to stand up swaying around, I am worried he will fall. It took me a good ten minutes to be able to convince him to sit down. Grandma was exhausted and looked worn out, she said he was up and down all night long. She was extremely happy for the visit and said it made her day! (take that Golden Boy) When we left Grandpa shook our hands and said it was nice to get acquainted with him, we couldn't help but laugh and I told Grandpa is was nice meeting him and he seems like a nice fellow, Grandpa laughed and said No, I'm not! I said yes, I think you are he then replied with a big smile. Yes, I am a good fellow! He really enjoyed the boys yesterday, was very happy to see them and hugged them several times.
On an unrelated note: As we sat talking to them I could see out the back window (right behind their heads) Dean chasing a chicken. Bahahaha so funny! Here comes a chicken running and about 1 minute later slow old Dean trotting along, chicken gets to the end of the fence and turns around, runs right past Dean. Dean turns around like a turtle and heads back the other way chasing that chicken-it went on for a few minutes. I was listening to Shirl talk and just started laughing because of this going on behind her head, I wish I videotaped it.
We actually went over yesterday afternoon to visit and although Grandpa was extremely tired from the rough night he was very happy. He was happy to see us and he stood and stared at me smiling and said I looked very familiar to him and asked where I was from. When I told him I was Trents daughter he looked confused, I asked him if he knew who Trent was and he laughed and said yes but then stopped laughing and said no. I asked him who was the president of the United States and that really seemed to confuse him. He sure likes to stand up swaying around, I am worried he will fall. It took me a good ten minutes to be able to convince him to sit down. Grandma was exhausted and looked worn out, she said he was up and down all night long. She was extremely happy for the visit and said it made her day! (take that Golden Boy) When we left Grandpa shook our hands and said it was nice to get acquainted with him, we couldn't help but laugh and I told Grandpa is was nice meeting him and he seems like a nice fellow, Grandpa laughed and said No, I'm not! I said yes, I think you are he then replied with a big smile. Yes, I am a good fellow! He really enjoyed the boys yesterday, was very happy to see them and hugged them several times.
On an unrelated note: As we sat talking to them I could see out the back window (right behind their heads) Dean chasing a chicken. Bahahaha so funny! Here comes a chicken running and about 1 minute later slow old Dean trotting along, chicken gets to the end of the fence and turns around, runs right past Dean. Dean turns around like a turtle and heads back the other way chasing that chicken-it went on for a few minutes. I was listening to Shirl talk and just started laughing because of this going on behind her head, I wish I videotaped it.
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Saturday Morn
Talked to mom this morning. She said dad was pretty restless last night, but nothing major. Was pleasant this morning. Had no plans to go out today. I was going to go up, but with me being laid up all week, I needed to get some stuff done and pace myself. She was very understanding, and told her I was going to call her later tonight. Was in good spirits at that time, so we will see how the day goes.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Quiet Fri Evening
I called Shirl about 7:30 tonight. She didnt answer the phone for several rings and I thought She might be asleep again. Said she was in the kitchen, and insisted she was not asleep. She said they had a pretty good day today. Pop was nice, in a good mood all day, and was dozing in the chair right now. She was in a good mood and actually sounded way more up beat than the last couple of times I talked to here. Told her we were going to Trader Joes next week and invited her to come along. She said it depends on how Charles is doing, and we talked about baby sitters for him. She told me about Dean & Bill watching him while she does stuff. I did find out that Bill is not working, and she helps him with money every month. To the tune of around 400.00 to help pay his rent. I am not very happy about that,,, but,, Her money, her Brother, her choice. She says if she didnt do that, he would have no choice but to live with them, so she would rather help him with that than have no visitors because of him being there. I reckon since she helps him survive, he should be happy aboiut helping her with him when she needs a break. Just some random thoughts.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Rough week
This past week has been a rough one for Chuck n' Shirl. Especially monday and tuesday nights. Dad was particulary agitated at mom, and she at him. Monday night, Dad wanted to go to bed with his clothes and shoes on. Mom called me and she was very frustrated. Told me that "my father was not being very cooperative", and she told him that she was going to call me. Geez! I never thought my mom would ever call me, to tattle-tell on my dad! I told her to let him go to bed with his clothes and shoes on. She said no. she wasn't going to let that happen. Anyway, after some coaxing, I was able to calm mom down. I called her back around 10:30 that night, and dad was in bed. Whew!
On tuesday night, I called mom around 9 pm. They had gone to a viewing along with Uncle Dean. She said that they had a good day and evening. But when they got home, Dad wouldn't take his coat off. Kept telling her that he was going to go outside. Of course mom told him no, and that made him mad. So, I asked mom to hand him the phone, thinking I could get him to calm down. He got on the phone. I asked him what he was doing. He said he was just trying to get home. I told im he was home, and that he should take his coat off and stay awhile. He again said he just wanted to die and go home. I didn't know what to say after that. I talked to mom again and she said they would be alright. I reminded mom to just let things go. She agreed, but was mad at me. I called her back around 10:30 again, and dad had made it to bed. She apologized for calling like she always does. I think when she calls me, she's just wanting to me to come over and take dad from her.
On wednesday, there were no issues. Dad stayed in his jamas all day. This morning when I called her, dad was still in bed. Celia had also checked in with them. Dad didn't get up until around 9 am.
Today, I decided to surprise mom and stop in after work. I came in the front door, and dad was in the recliner asleep, in his PJ's. Mom was in watching TV. As soon as she looked at me, I could tell that she had been crying. I sat down and she unloaded. During breakfast, dad has some snot dripping into his cereal, but he ate it anyway. Gross yes, but nothing new. Mom didn't like that and said something to him about it. He got mad at her, and it went downhill from there. Later on in the afternoon, Dad was alseep again with some stuff dribbling down from his mouth. Mom went to wipe it for him, startling him. He grabbed her wrist and said, "what the hell do you think you're doing". Mom was pretty upset about that obviously. I again reminded mom that when she gets mad, she needs to realize it and not respond. She again agreed, but it's hard for her. Steven stopped by and stayed for a few minutes. Mom told me that Melissa came by and her visitig teacher as well. She had quite a few visitors today. I stayed and ate dinner. Dad ate well. I told him that it was shower night. He hadn't showered since monday, and had been wearing his PJ's for two days straight now. He agreed, so I led him back to the bedroom and started explaining to him what he had to do. Mom came back and took over. He was actually asking for her. I left when he started to take his shirt off. I hope all went well.
I did notice something tonight as I was helping with dad. I could see the old Chuck in his eyes tonight. But it was the look that he gave you when he would snap his fingers and point at you when you did something wrong. Used to scare the crap out of me! As I was being direct with him, he was giving me that stink eye under those bushy eyebrows. He looked mad, and I felt it. But, he wasn't quite sure how to deal with me. I think he knew he couldn't talk to me like he does mom. So, he kept his cool. But those eyes.........not happy at all. Mom is at the end of her rope. She can't deal with it, and if something isn't done soon, we're gonna have both of them in bad shape. Talked with Celia again. She's going to try and get up this weekend. It will be good that Trent is coming down. That assessment needs to happen like Celia said. The sooner the better. Kinda long post tonight I know. It's been a rough week, but I just felt like I needed to inform everyone of the latest.
On tuesday night, I called mom around 9 pm. They had gone to a viewing along with Uncle Dean. She said that they had a good day and evening. But when they got home, Dad wouldn't take his coat off. Kept telling her that he was going to go outside. Of course mom told him no, and that made him mad. So, I asked mom to hand him the phone, thinking I could get him to calm down. He got on the phone. I asked him what he was doing. He said he was just trying to get home. I told im he was home, and that he should take his coat off and stay awhile. He again said he just wanted to die and go home. I didn't know what to say after that. I talked to mom again and she said they would be alright. I reminded mom to just let things go. She agreed, but was mad at me. I called her back around 10:30 again, and dad had made it to bed. She apologized for calling like she always does. I think when she calls me, she's just wanting to me to come over and take dad from her.
On wednesday, there were no issues. Dad stayed in his jamas all day. This morning when I called her, dad was still in bed. Celia had also checked in with them. Dad didn't get up until around 9 am.
Today, I decided to surprise mom and stop in after work. I came in the front door, and dad was in the recliner asleep, in his PJ's. Mom was in watching TV. As soon as she looked at me, I could tell that she had been crying. I sat down and she unloaded. During breakfast, dad has some snot dripping into his cereal, but he ate it anyway. Gross yes, but nothing new. Mom didn't like that and said something to him about it. He got mad at her, and it went downhill from there. Later on in the afternoon, Dad was alseep again with some stuff dribbling down from his mouth. Mom went to wipe it for him, startling him. He grabbed her wrist and said, "what the hell do you think you're doing". Mom was pretty upset about that obviously. I again reminded mom that when she gets mad, she needs to realize it and not respond. She again agreed, but it's hard for her. Steven stopped by and stayed for a few minutes. Mom told me that Melissa came by and her visitig teacher as well. She had quite a few visitors today. I stayed and ate dinner. Dad ate well. I told him that it was shower night. He hadn't showered since monday, and had been wearing his PJ's for two days straight now. He agreed, so I led him back to the bedroom and started explaining to him what he had to do. Mom came back and took over. He was actually asking for her. I left when he started to take his shirt off. I hope all went well.
I did notice something tonight as I was helping with dad. I could see the old Chuck in his eyes tonight. But it was the look that he gave you when he would snap his fingers and point at you when you did something wrong. Used to scare the crap out of me! As I was being direct with him, he was giving me that stink eye under those bushy eyebrows. He looked mad, and I felt it. But, he wasn't quite sure how to deal with me. I think he knew he couldn't talk to me like he does mom. So, he kept his cool. But those eyes.........not happy at all. Mom is at the end of her rope. She can't deal with it, and if something isn't done soon, we're gonna have both of them in bad shape. Talked with Celia again. She's going to try and get up this weekend. It will be good that Trent is coming down. That assessment needs to happen like Celia said. The sooner the better. Kinda long post tonight I know. It's been a rough week, but I just felt like I needed to inform everyone of the latest.
Evening nap
Well, it was good to speak with all 3 of you last night and discuss Chuck, Shirl, Guns, Ammo, and other vital info. Had to smile when Shirl called me back and said She was asleep and didnt hear the phone, cuz that is what I had figured anyway. After all, it was 8:30 pm which is nap time! I guess I just wasn't thinking! Will call a little earlier next time.
Sounds like we are all on the same page about Pop moving into a place where he can be cared for properly. I know it is a hard thing for us all to think about, but there is actually no other choice that is feasible or that we can be comfortable with. Obviously S has reached the end of her rope, capabilities, and tolerance, and I think C senses more than we can guess about his enviroment and what his issues are. Time to make the move right after the holidays and get things rolling. Once again, I know I am not right there, but let me know if I can do anything to help.
We will be down next Wed and stay until Sat so we will have some time to discuss more stuff.
Sounds like we are all on the same page about Pop moving into a place where he can be cared for properly. I know it is a hard thing for us all to think about, but there is actually no other choice that is feasible or that we can be comfortable with. Obviously S has reached the end of her rope, capabilities, and tolerance, and I think C senses more than we can guess about his enviroment and what his issues are. Time to make the move right after the holidays and get things rolling. Once again, I know I am not right there, but let me know if I can do anything to help.
We will be down next Wed and stay until Sat so we will have some time to discuss more stuff.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Golden Boy Wins Again!!
Today I received a call from Shirl informing me that they will NOT be joining my family for our traditional Christmas dinner we've been doing for years now. They will be having a late breakfast at Golden Boys home and its just too much for them to have me come pick them up, feed them, spend time with them and return them. She also said she hopes my feelings aren't hurt but she loves Golden Boy more than me! This is not the first time this has happened to me. Golden Boy always wins! No, I'm sorry Silver Girl but we can't be with you because Golden Boy might call us and invite us over is something I have heard from Shirl's voice more than once. Damn you Golden Boy.....damn you!
Sincerely,
Silver Girl
Today I received a call from Shirl informing me that they will NOT be joining my family for our traditional Christmas dinner we've been doing for years now. They will be having a late breakfast at Golden Boys home and its just too much for them to have me come pick them up, feed them, spend time with them and return them. She also said she hopes my feelings aren't hurt but she loves Golden Boy more than me! This is not the first time this has happened to me. Golden Boy always wins! No, I'm sorry Silver Girl but we can't be with you because Golden Boy might call us and invite us over is something I have heard from Shirl's voice more than once. Damn you Golden Boy.....damn you!
Sincerely,
Silver Girl
Monday, December 17, 2012
Sunday dinner II
Yesterday I went over to pick mom and dad up for dinner at our place. I walked in the front door, and into an argurment, or the tail-end of one. Not really sure what actually happened. As I came in, mom was coming out of the bathroom saying, " Well all you have to do is tell me!" I saw dad go into the bathroom mumbling, "alright", then closed the door. Mom saw me, broke down and started crying. I gave her a hug. She said she didn't know if she could keep doing this. According to her, dad was yelling at her, and she couldn't tell want he wanted. Finally, she figured out he needed to use the bathroom, and she was in there getting ready. I'm not sure if he was yelling or not. I didn't hear any yelling. My kids tell me I yell, when I talk "firmly" to them. Maybe thats the case.
When dad came out of the bathroom, I could tell he was not with it. He just stood there with his head bent down, almost sulking. He didn't say anything. I said, "C'mon dad, lets go over my house and you can eat". No response. I told mom to just let me handle him today, and she said okay. She was mad. Got his coat and stocking cap on, and got him in the car, without him saying one word. And thats how he was during the ride to our place. Deb had dinner ready when we got there, so I just sat dad right down at the table. He sat there slumped over, just like a little kid would if he was mad. I had to actually go and put the fork into his hand to get him eating. Mom tried interjecting a few words here and there, but I told her to stop and just let me handle it. She did. Dad ate very well. Big plate of lasagna, texas toast, and salad. Afterwards, he went and slept on the couch, under a blanket for 2 hrs before I took them home around 6. Matter of fact, mom slept just as much as he did. Deb told me later, that when we came into the house, mom told her, "I can't deal with him today. He's all Eric's". I guess he didn't go to bed saturday night until after 11 pm, and he was up a few times. So, mom didn't get any sleep either. Thats a bad combination. He was a little more talkative on the way home, but not much. When I got them back home, dad said he was freezing, so I got him under a blanket, and cranked the heater. He asked me how fast I drove on the way home. I told him the I did about 70 mph. He then started crying and said, "Thats what I thought." Then he was fine. ??????? Don't have any idea what triggered the tears. Called mom later on about 9:30, and he was still in the same place, asleep. Called her this morning about 9:30, and she said that he went to bed between 10:30 and 11, but he slept all night. He was grumpy and yelling today though.
I'm not sure about all this "yelling" that mom says happens. I am sure, it's different when its just the two of them. I wish I could be a fly on the wall. Maybe one night, I'll go up there and just sit outside and spy. I don't know. Celia and I talked last night. As she mentioned, we'll get an assessment right after the holidays. A decision has to be made soon, for both mom and dad. After going on the tour saturday, I have mixed emotions. Like Celia said, it's very overwhelming. And, I have trouble seeing dad in there. Very hard to think about.
When dad came out of the bathroom, I could tell he was not with it. He just stood there with his head bent down, almost sulking. He didn't say anything. I said, "C'mon dad, lets go over my house and you can eat". No response. I told mom to just let me handle him today, and she said okay. She was mad. Got his coat and stocking cap on, and got him in the car, without him saying one word. And thats how he was during the ride to our place. Deb had dinner ready when we got there, so I just sat dad right down at the table. He sat there slumped over, just like a little kid would if he was mad. I had to actually go and put the fork into his hand to get him eating. Mom tried interjecting a few words here and there, but I told her to stop and just let me handle it. She did. Dad ate very well. Big plate of lasagna, texas toast, and salad. Afterwards, he went and slept on the couch, under a blanket for 2 hrs before I took them home around 6. Matter of fact, mom slept just as much as he did. Deb told me later, that when we came into the house, mom told her, "I can't deal with him today. He's all Eric's". I guess he didn't go to bed saturday night until after 11 pm, and he was up a few times. So, mom didn't get any sleep either. Thats a bad combination. He was a little more talkative on the way home, but not much. When I got them back home, dad said he was freezing, so I got him under a blanket, and cranked the heater. He asked me how fast I drove on the way home. I told him the I did about 70 mph. He then started crying and said, "Thats what I thought." Then he was fine. ??????? Don't have any idea what triggered the tears. Called mom later on about 9:30, and he was still in the same place, asleep. Called her this morning about 9:30, and she said that he went to bed between 10:30 and 11, but he slept all night. He was grumpy and yelling today though.
I'm not sure about all this "yelling" that mom says happens. I am sure, it's different when its just the two of them. I wish I could be a fly on the wall. Maybe one night, I'll go up there and just sit outside and spy. I don't know. Celia and I talked last night. As she mentioned, we'll get an assessment right after the holidays. A decision has to be made soon, for both mom and dad. After going on the tour saturday, I have mixed emotions. Like Celia said, it's very overwhelming. And, I have trouble seeing dad in there. Very hard to think about.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
So......I went down to help out mom some. She was able to get out of the house and not have to worry about leaving Dad. She went shoppin and errands on Thursday and Friday. I was amazed at her good mood and energy when she returned from her little trips. It really does her good to get out a little and get some air. She really appreciates any help and anyone who wants to visit. Dad was in and out of it for the few days I was there. Nothing really unusual that I observed except for Friday evening he was very restless. He wouldn't sit for very long but keep getting up and opening doors and standing in front of things looking very puzzled as if he was trying to remember something. For the most part, he was pretty mild mannered and even his sense of humor came out at times. One time at the dinner table he burped real loud and then said "got him!" --whatever that means. And he did joke some with shaking and acting like he's shaking to death. It's funny, when you're with him you go from being amused to heartbroken for him. I just encourage everyone to try and keep in touch off and on with mom, she's pretty emotional and this is quite the trying time for her. I know she feels the love and support from her family, and it does bouy (sp?) her up. Thanks for everyone's help and prayers.
Saturday Field Trip
Mom, Eric, and I went on our field trip yesterday to Chancellor Gardens. It was good, informative, but very overwhelming. The staff can do an assessment of dad after the holidays, to see where he is with the disease, and determine if/when there is a good fit for him there. We were also told we could bring him to some activities, and even come and eat lunch there. They are are so willing to make sure the family and the patient is as comfortable as possible, but don't want them to be there if it is not needed, or maybe not the right spot. So, we will start doing some of those things in January and see where it goes. Dad was really out of it yesterday. Fred and Chad brought him a loaded burger from Wendy's, and he chowed down on it, but then went back to the couch and slept. I don't think he even knew who we were. Chad went to say good-bye, and dad didn't respond at all. Chad, being Chad, stared at him for a few minutes and said, "Awkward", while using his gratuitous air quotes. Kinda funny. Mom was in a good mood yesterday, said she was glad she went to the location, and at least we are starting to look at some things for dad. I told her our main concern was her and dad. It's tough looking at this stuff and not thinking about what I want. I have to step back, and remind myself this is all about dad, mom, their comfort, what is too much, etc. The last few days have been pretty good for mom, but she has had Ann there to help, and she was also able to get out of the house. That's how it goes. A few bad days, and she has had enough. Then, a couple of good days. I guess he was pretty restless last night. Not mean, just up and down. By the way, this is called Sundowners. It's very common in Alz patients, and starts showing up in the evenings and through the night. Something about the correlation of the sun (or lack of, in the winter and at night), and the brain that doesn't click. I guess when we know more about what causes this ugly disease, we will be able to know more about how the lack of sunlight affects the brain. Come to to think of it, even in people without Alz, lack of sunlight develops into depression, so I guess it makes sense. Will continue to update everyone.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Time to Farm
Talked with Eric briefly, and he was at the house with Ann and the folks. Said dad was chattering away and had just put on his shoes so he could be ready when the pigs and chickens get there. I hope that group doesn't bring along those rowdy cows from the Love family.
All is Quiet on the Western Front...
...for now. Ann has been down for a few days, and has been cleaning and spending some time with the folks. Mom needed to do some shopping, and get out some. On Thursday, Ann and Chuck were listening to Christmas caroles. It's probably been good for all everyone. No support group tomorrow, but Eric and I will be touring the living place with mom.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Tuesday Night
Just talked to Mom. After a few good days, last night was not so good. Dad was up and down all night, talking out of his head. Mom really couldn't understand him, though. She finally got up about 5, and ended up sleeping on the couch. Guess he settled down about 6, and is still sawing logs at 8:30 this morning. When he did get up to go to the bathroom, he missed, and ended up with wet pajamas. Mom tried to get him to change before he went back to bed, but he told her "To hell with it", and she didn't say anything else.
We will talk later.
We will talk later.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Sunday dinner
We had the parents over last sunday for dinner. I thought it would be good to go pick them up, that way I could help eleviate that awkward silence that I know is there when they are in the car alone. Whenever I go to mom and dads now, I go through South Weber. I love that drive, and I know that Dad always did too. When I picked them up, I put Dad in the front with me so he coud look out the window. We started down the hill toward Weber Canyon, and Dads eyes were immediatley on the mountaians, just like they always were. I saw the old Chuck there for a minute. As we passed over the Weber River, I know that there is a spot right there where Dad use to fish. I wondered if he would say something. Sure enough, as we passed by he said, "Hey, I remember that hole. Lots of good fish in there". See, the old Chuck is there! He just needs some reminders once in a while to come out.
Dad has not been eating as much lately. Not the case on sunday. Huge pale of pork loin, mashed spuds, broccoli, stuffing, and squash. Ate every bit of it! And he topped it all off an hour later with ice cream. We had them here about 5 hours. It was good for them both I think. They had their naps of course, but that is to be expected. I found a book about F-16's that I had. When I showed it to Dad, the old Chuck came out again, saying, "Thats my plane!" He sat and looked at it for a while. I forgot to send it home with him. I'll get it to him.
Overall, it was a good visit for them. Mom was not stressed at all, and she didn't nag on Dad. I think the more we can get those two out of the house the better.
Dad has not been eating as much lately. Not the case on sunday. Huge pale of pork loin, mashed spuds, broccoli, stuffing, and squash. Ate every bit of it! And he topped it all off an hour later with ice cream. We had them here about 5 hours. It was good for them both I think. They had their naps of course, but that is to be expected. I found a book about F-16's that I had. When I showed it to Dad, the old Chuck came out again, saying, "Thats my plane!" He sat and looked at it for a while. I forgot to send it home with him. I'll get it to him.
Overall, it was a good visit for them. Mom was not stressed at all, and she didn't nag on Dad. I think the more we can get those two out of the house the better.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Monday Nite...10th
I talked to Shirl about 9pm...Seemed to be in a pretty good mood..Watching TV..Chuck was asleep,,,Didn't get out of his pajamas all day.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Field Trip
Talked to mom this morning. Both Eric and I talked to her last night, as the evening wasn't the greatest with Chuck and Shirl. When they have a bad night, it is pretty certain the following day will be ugly. Better night last night, no critters crawling around. This coming Saturday, Eric and I will be going to the place for the support group with mom, and to take a tour. Our own little field trip. Fred will hang out with dad. It breaks all of our hearts to have to think about putting dad somewhere. However, we need to think of mom's health and the fact that this is taking a toll on her. Plus, dad is wandering more at night, and is also getting more of a temper. He clenches his fists and pushes her away when he doesn't want her to be around him. I am sure this is difficult for her.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Bad Night
Just talked to Mom. She sounds tired. Dad was up last night about 2 am, said there were critters crawling all over them. Mom said he was dreaming, then they turned on the light. Dad got down on his hands and knees and was looking under the bed. Mom was trying to get him back in bed and he yelled, "Be quiet and shut up!". She finally got him back in bed. Couldn't talk much more because he walked into the room. Told her I would call her later tonight.
Here we go..
OK - have been going to start this blog for awhile, so I apologize it wasn't up sooner. Thought we could create this blog so everyone can go in and read what is going on with Chuck. You can also post comments or observations, after visiting with the folks. Dad has good days, and not so good days. The not so good seem to be getting to be a regular thing, which from everything I have read and seen, is common as someone enters the 3rd stage of Alz. There are 3 stages, and the 3rd stage is when the person becomes very disoriented, even in their own home. The person also tends to sleep more, gets paranoid, and doesn't have much of an appetite. It's common for them to not want to have anything to do with personal hygiene, and do things that would be totally out of character. I remember one of the first support group meetings Mom and I went to, and the nurse was explaining how many of her patients begin swearing for the first time in their lives. Mom made the comment that Dad will never swear. Well, guess what? He is swearing - damn and hell. I hope the Alz Dad doesn't drop an F bomb one day, 'cuz that will push Mom over the edge. Dad has become more childlike, and the relationship he has with Mom now, is more of a mother/child, not husband/wife. I know Mom tries to be patient, but I think she has probably had as much as she can take. The holidays are particularly hard for her, because she thinks about how Dad used to be, and the fact that he is not aware of much, really gets to her. I have a friend at work, whose dad was injured in a car accident at the age of 62. He was pretty much paralyzed from the waist down, and her mom took care of him for 20 years. She said that from her experience, the best thing people could do to help, was to just call and ask if it was OK to stop by and visit. Or, offer to stay with her dad while he mom got out. She said if anyone asked her mom what she needed, she would tell them she was fine. Hmmm...something to think about.
Feel free to share any interactions with Chuck, or even a fun a memory. When we talk to either Mom or Dad, or spend some time with them, we will update the blog so everyone will have an idea what's going on.
Celia
Feel free to share any interactions with Chuck, or even a fun a memory. When we talk to either Mom or Dad, or spend some time with them, we will update the blog so everyone will have an idea what's going on.
Celia
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