I love this photo, Grandpa was super happy this day. He was having fun teasing and joking around with the boys. 

One of my favorite memories was on Christmas day teaching Grandpa how to play wii. He loved the golf and was fascinated by this technology. 

Charles Leth Maughan Aug 8, 1928 - Sept 25, 2013

Exactly 7 months to the day we moved Chuck to the facility, he passed away around noon, on 9/25/2013.  My emotions are all over the place this morning, and I will post more on this blog when things settle down.   We are glad he is at peace and free from the horrible disease that ravaged his mind and body.

Rest in peace, Pop, and enjoy your family and the new fishin' hole you have undoubtedly already claimed as your own.

Some Grandpa Memories...

So it would figure I'd post for the first time the day that Grandpa passes. I'm sure he's gettin' a little laugh outta that right now.

Hi Fam...and relatives...and whomever else may drop by to read about Chuck. Feelings and emotions are a little raw right now but I'm gonna do my best to keep things halfway coherent.

 Wow, oh wow...where do you start with a man like Charles? I'm guessing he gave a soft "Well good morning.." to whomever greeted him and let out that subtle chuckle. (Hey, he'd like that one!!) Grandpa always began each conversation, at least in the phone calls we'd have, with a "good morning," no matter what time of day it was. Always made me laugh. And, like it's been throughout the night, now it's starting to make me cry...pardon me, lemme grab a kleenex...that's five used up in just the last 30 minutes. Maybe we'll double that by the end of the post...

It was a week ago Sunday that I saw him last. Aislinn and I were in town, getting ready for a big ol' family vacation in southern Utah as we left the next day. The Wife--Aislinn--, myself and Mom stopped by his happenin' pad. Walked past a gaggle of the old folks in the big room watching TV. I just smiled nervously because I had that knot in my stomach, knowing that knot would turn into tears as soon as I walked in the room. And, yeah, the floodgates opened. He was asleep in the chair as a John Wayne movie was on TV. Mom leaned down, kissed his head and tried to wake him a little. He struggled, kinda opening one eye and and then back to sleep. Aislinn and I sat down on his little couch as Mom tried to talk to him again. It was then I had a conscious moment to take this all in because I knew this would probably be the last time I'd see him on this side. It was tough. Very tough. It felt like thousands of memories sped through the head in a matter of seconds. More tears...both at the home that day and right now. I watched him struggle to itch his head and his right cheek, just below his eye. Yup, I was thinking to myself, looks like he's gettin' ever more ready to make that cross pretty soon. He was probably in some pain we'll never know but now that's gone...and that's--to use one of Grandpa's words I remember--dandy knowing he's not suffering anymore. Our whole visit lasted all of ten minutes, if that. The previous time I'd seen Grandpa was last November when Aislinn and I came back for our Utah wedding shindig. He was walking around, seemed a little tired but was, ya know, bein' Chuck. The visit last Sunday was like night and day from November. Getting back in the car, I was quiet as some pretty massive waves of emotion hit. I remember feeling a little angry too...just mystified that this disease of Alzheimer's could, well, do this to someone we all love so dearly...and how hard it is for other families too, I'm sure, that have to go through this. We went back to Grandma's place 'cause we was gonna have ourselves a good ol' fashion Maughan Weenie Roast. It helped a lot to be around the Fam and see Grandma...Eric and Debbie were there with Kash...Ryan and his wife showed up for a bit...and Dean and Virgie stopped by too. Had been a long time since I'd seen Uncle Dean too. I knew he was in rough shape too but you sure as hell wouldn't know it by talking to him. Still as gracious as ever. And, just like his brother Charles, still very insightful because he said something before they left that is gonna stick with me...I'm paraphrasing here but it was along the lines of, "Oh Charles and I will be seeing each other here pretty soon..." in his wonderful Dean-sing-songy voice. I walked back in the house, looked right at Mom and said, "You hear what Dean just said?" Mom and everyone in the kitchen just cracked a smile. Leave it to the Maughan brothers to reassure everyone else it's gonna be alright. I know it's not his time yet but I'm sure Grandpa's having fun seeing all the old siblings and gettin' Dean's room ready whenever that may be.

I'll tell ya another thing too: he loved the absolute hell outta his grandkids. And, man oh man, did I love him back. (Yup, more tears...here we go). Words cannot remotely do justice or even begin to encapsulate how I feel about him and how much I'll miss him. He touched more lives than he'll ever know and I was lucky enough to be there, basically, from the ground up. I have so many fond memories of living in Layton as a kid (and even a couple times through college.) The garden...the rabbits...the corn...the raspberry patches...burning the garbage...the sheds and how creepy I thought they were...standing in the front room and watching storms roll across the lake...hearing him talk about F16s and all the cool things he did at HAFB...bread and gravy...rolls with Grandma's homemade jam...so many more. Through my eyes as a kid, he was the first adult I thought was truly invincible. He was there for you at any time. He always listened. He thought about things and gave you his answer knowing he couldn't make the decision for you but you'd walk away knowing you'd be stupid not to take his advice. He loved to laugh too. Some of the best memories are being at the house and hearing Mom and Eric go back and forth with Grandma about something (Oh honestly, you two!!) and Grandpa just laughing on the couch, oftentimes with little tears rolling down his face knowing that Mom and Eric got Shirl pretty good. (Crimi-nut-ly, you two!! That's e-nough!!) And Grandpa was always good for a massive burp (either saying BURP as he burped or BRRAAAPPP...well played Chuck), in the house or out in the garden. Hey, where's Grandpa at? BBBBRRRRAAAAPPPP!!! Ahh, found him...he's in the raspberry patch. Those raspberries were the perfect topping for one of his favorite, and mine too, snacks: ice cream. I don't think there's ever been a time where Chuck and Shirl's didn't have some ice cream. Ice cream was always a treat before bedtime...after I'd watched Channel 5 weather 'cause I liked the clouds they used in their forecast, although soon as I heard the theme from MASH, I knew I had to hit the sack where he told awesome versions of Jack and the Beanstalk and Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Ice cream continued the bond throughout college when I'd stop by for some Sunday dinner after they got home from church. We'd gab about the news, sports...really anything. I was always fascinated by his opinions, especially as I got older. He was man of such faith and conviction and moral character. All of that informed his thoughts but he would never--as others have expressed too--judge others. Amazing, amazing man he was...

Love ya, Grandpa. Just plain ol' vanilla with a little chocolate sounds great...

Update, September 24th, 2013

Deb stayed with dad last night, and it was rough.  He was moaning, shaking, was agitated and in obvious pain.   Morphine was given to him about 2:45 a.m., but it didn't seem to do much.
Today, the Hospice nurse visited again.  Dad continues to decline, and they have ordered morphine every hour to manage his pain, and perihalidol to help with the combativeness.   (He slugged Deb this morning, and managed to get a good slug in on my back yesterday morning.   He is swinging at the aides,  as well.)   The main objective is to keep him comfortable, and this will also help in transitioning the spirit from the body. It will only be a matter of days, and he will be free of pain.

Comforting Memories

Got the news yesterday that Grandpa was about ready to go.  My kids all started crying.  To comfort them, I started to tell them some of my favorite memories of Grandpa.
He taught me how to cook a hot dog over the fire.  He was very serious about it.  Told me that you got to make it sweat, and it needs to be black on the outside or it won't taste right.
I have many, many memories of following him around as he "puttered" in the garden.  From the time I was very little, until just a few years ago, he and I would walk around in his garden and he would teach me about plants, proper watering, and fertilizer techniques.  I got my love of gardening from him.
When I was in college and would come visit the grandparents, I caught him several times out checking the tire pressure in my tires and my oil levels.  He would get after me if I caught him.  That's the kind of man he is/was.  He never sought praise or recognition.  He was a gentleman, and service oriented.
I loved combing through his rows of books.  I loved watching him read, and later listening to Gma read to him when his eyesight got too bad.  He showed me by example that he loved learning and that it should be a lifelong pursuit..
I remember sitting next to him and watching in wonder and awe at his flying fingers as he played the piano.  I had a favorite song, but didn't know the name until I heard it in high school.  When I did, I immediately recognized it and learned that it was known as the "Flight of the Bumblebee".  Every time I hear it, it takes me back to when I was so young and sitting next to Gpa watching him play.
I grew up loving to watch Gma and Gpa interact with each other.  Such love, honor, and respect between them.  Gpa always took care of Gma, and Gma took care of Gpa.  Their love story is one for the history books, and something that we can look to and try to emulate.
I told my kids that Gpa is a superhero. He lived a life that he can be proud of, and one that we can learn so many lessons from.  What a noble heritage he has left us with.  He makes me want to be a better person, so I can strive to be worthy to call myself his granddaughter.  I feel so blessed to have been taught by him, and to have been loved by him.

September 23rd, 2013. Almost Ready to go Fishin', or Golfing, or Looking at Cars....

I have such mixed emotions as I write this.   The last week has been rough for pop- he has declined rapidly.   Pop is almost at the end of his mortal life here, and will soon be free of pain and his Alz.   This makes me relieved and happy for him.   However, my heart aches like it has never ached before, with the sadness that he is leaving us.   He is an incredible example of a kind human being, and that is something I will always remember about him.  He never judged anyone, and was always willing to give people second and third chances.  My emotions and thoughts are not exclusive to me at all.  I know that family and friends share the same thoughts, in addition to their very own special memories of Chuck.

I had the honor of spending the last 24 hours with him, as he would go between sleeping peacefully and mumbling things I could not understand.  He was clear on a few things though, and that is the fact that he was talking to his mother, and also mentioned that "they are working on me."  When he would get agitated and restless, I would sit by his side, put my hand on his head, and assure him I was there.   He knew I was there, just as he knew when other visitors came in.  I fed him applesauce and his appreciation of feeling this in his dry mouth was clear.   When I left him this afternoon, I kissed his head and held him for a moment.  He opened his eyes and smiled.

The Hospice nurse tells us he has a few days.  It is possible he could rally, but the likelihood of this happening is slim.  He is almost ready to go.   We are waiting for him to take that final walk and be free of his pain.   We can only imagine the reunion he will have on the other side, and how happy he will be to see his family.   We do know that once he passes, he will be the real Charlie, the one we will deeply miss, but will always remember and keep in our hearts.

Hope you are at peace soon, sweet Pop.

Memories from Uncle Gary (dad's younger brother)

Wanted to share the info below from Uncle Gary, dad's younger brother.  Gary is the youngest of all the Maughan kids.   This is in an email from Uncle Gary to Trent.  Great memories, Uncle Gary.  All others, please feel free to add memories, or email Celia at jabugrizz@aol.com, and I will copy them in here. 

I didn't go see your Dad and your Mom didn't encourage us to go see

him.   I have so many great memories of Charles.  He baptized me down in

foxley's pond when I turned 8.   I grew up around motorcycles/ model T's

/ A's and hot rods your Dad collected.  Some went very fast.  There was always an air of excitement when we got to ride with him.  I was in the rumble seat of his Model A that Marion was driving when she ran into the back of Doyle's car on the hill field road.   That was a wreck.  I have

nothing but good memories of your Dad.  He was a great Dad/ husband / brother.  I can't imagine him only weighing 130# and wasting away in body and mind.  Hopefully freedom will come to him soon.  Anyway,

Love,  Gary

 

 

Sunday, September 8th

Popped in to see dad a little after 10 this morning.  He was watching football on tv in the big room, and had just gotten back from church.  He asked me who I was, and I told him one of his daughters.   Told me  looked like a boy.   (Probably.  It was raining really hard today, so I just put on a baseball hat and a t shirt).  He hadn't been to church in several weeks, and he said he enjoyed himself.   Looked pretty good, sitting there with his John Deere hat on.   Guess the speak at church was named Charlie, and when they called his name, dad got up.   The volunteer gently helped him sit down.  Dad said, "I found out something today."  Asked him what.   "I can't sing."  Told him he has never been able to sing, and he laughed.   Asked him if he remembered sitting on the stand and mouthing the words to the songs in church.  He was thinking really hard, and then said, "Yup.  I was the bishop."  Wow - can't remember his kids, but he can still remember this.  Amazing.   He asked me how old I was.  Told him 51.  He about fell off his chair and said, "I should be long gone by now."  Told him he just turned 85 last month.  Again, he was thinking really hard and said he remembered.  Said he was ready to go to his room and sit on his couch.  He dozed and mumbled a bit, but was awake enough when Maritza, the aide, told him she liked the sweet Charlie better than the mean one, that he smiled.   I took him to the table when it was time for lunch.   They were telling him what they were having and he perked right up at the mention of turkey, mashed spuds and gravy, and strawberry cream pie.   Got him settled, gave him a hug and a kiss and told him I would be back soon.   He said ok, and that it was sure nice to visit.  It was good to see him today, and not asleep.   Guess he has had a pretty good week - eating and sleeping.    Eric and mom stopped in tonight, and Eric said he was still awake and talking.   He did start to doze, though, after a while.  

Update, September 2nd

Fred and Eric moved dad closer to the front of the home a week ago this past Saturday.  This seems to have been a really good move, because he doesn't need to walk very far, and there are more eyes on him.   Hospice has been going well, they come in every weekday, and the nurse comes in twice a week.   Dad is sleeping more and more, and when he is awake, he is easily agitated.   The doc did order a very small dose of haliperadol to be given as needed.  This is a drug that helps calm alz patients, and they have had to give it to dad a few times.   It doesn't knock them out, just helps the agitation.   I will continue to keep things posted, but things are status quo right now.  

Update, August 19th

A lot has happened over the last few days.  Hospice is in place, and the nurses, aides, social worker, and chaplain have all visited dad.   Now that everyone has met him, the aides will come in each weekday morning to help get him going - shower, shave, breakfast, etc.   The nurse will come in twice a week, the social worker and the chaplain once a month, or more, if we need them.  Had a good conversation with the social worker today, and then a nice email from the chaplain.  She said dad was pretty coherent while they visited, they read scriptures and prayed together.   She said that dad was a very sweet and spiritual man.  FYI - they are non-deminational, and are aware we are LDS.   Dad needs everyone he can get, to help him be comfortable and at peace with what is coming down the road.   He has been eating sporadically over the weekend, is sleeping more.   I am working with the director, Ryan, to get him moved up the hall, so he is closer to the nurses and aides.   This will allow for more eyes on him, as there will be more traffic back and forth.   I think he is so far down the hall now, he doesn't get as much attention.  The social worker talked to me today, about starting to get some things planned for when dad leave us.   This makes sense, because we know it's coming, and when he does go, it would be nice to be able to spend time as a family and not to have to rush around making the plans then.   I brought it up to mom, and as difficult as it is, she agrees.   She will start thinking about things, and then we will likely involve the rest of the sibs and at least get a few things planned out.   I will continue to post updates on everything.

Hospice in Place

Hospice is in place, the nurse went to dad's place today to do an assessment.   The R.N. will go in twice a week, and aides will go in each morning for about an hour.   They will help dad shower, get him dressed, check all his vitals, etc.    They will also take over the medication management.  If dad falls, Chancellor is supposed to call hospice, and they will come and do an assessment.  He did fall yesterday morning, but didn't seem to be in pain, although he did have a nasty bruise on his right arm.  He fell in the dining area, tripped over his feet.  I got to Chancellor a little early, so walked down the hall.  There he was, at the end of the hall, in one of his usual spots.  Sound asleep.   As I walked toward him, I noticed that he had lost more weight, even from when I saw him a week ago.   The shirts and pants drown him, and his belt is on the last notch. It is tough to see him so thin and gaunt.  I rubbed his arm and called him pop.  He opened his eyes and asked me why I called him pop.  Told him he was my dad, I was his daughter.  He said, "Really?  That's nice."  He then went back to sleep.  A few minutes later, he said he was really tired from working.   I asked if he had been working hard all day and he said yes.   Fred and I met with the clincal director of the Hospice group - Hospice Care of Northern Utah.  We felt really good about their approach, and signed him up.   This was tough - here we are, talking about end of life care for my dad.  I thought moving him to Chancellor was difficult, and this is right up there with that event.   I have to keep reminding myself that it is dad's comfort that we must think of, but it is still really hard to know that he won't be with us much longer.   He is definitely in the final stages, and will probably be really happy when he can be the real Charlie again. I will continue to post updates.

UGH

It's official.  Dr. Nelson feels that dad is ready for Hospice.   This makes it real, even though we all know it has been creeping up on us.   Hospice will help him be more comfortable, and we can stagger the hours so someone is with him 1 on 1 a good part of the day.    Will be contacting companies to get some ideas with schedules, etc.   On one hand, it is hard to think of him not being with us.  On the other hand, you know his quality of life is non-existent and he is uncomfortable.  Don't like this.

******************
Update, August 14th.   Have an assessment set up with a company tomorrow, at 6 pm.   Have gotten some great recommendations about this company, and the clinical director was great on the phone.  
More to follow.

Update, August 11th

This past week, dad has declined quite a bit.    The last 3 days have been especially difficult.   He doesn't want to eat, all he does is sleep, and when he is awake, won't come out of his room.   Today, Sunday, he did get up and get dressed.   Has eaten all 3 meals, although when I spoke with the aide this morning, he had to rest for about 15 minutes when he was about half way down the hall to breakfast.  Dad's room is at the very end of the hallway, and it's quite a clip.   He has qualified for hospice, so I am calling the doctor tomorrow, to see how to get him signed up for this.   This will mean that someone will be with him more, and make sure he is comfortable, and help with his needs.  Chancellor is not set up for 1 on 1 nursing, and he is at a point where he needs to have a little more care.   It is tough to see him decline, especially when we all know he would rather be done with all of this.  I do wish he would go soon, so he can be Charlie again.   We don't get to make that choice, though.  We can just hope that he isn't in a lot of pain or discomfort.
*****Just talked to Eric this evening, and they went and saw dad.  He ate good today, but was very disoriented and combative.   Eric was helping the aide get him ready for bed, and dad was swinging at both of them.  Telling him he was going to smack him.  It was tough for Eric.

Mom goes to the doctor tomorrow to get her arm checked out.  She is ready to go home, and once we get the ok for the doc, we will get things set up for her to get back home.   There is a lady from the ward who will help mom, and the relief society will have meals brought in, and also take her down to see dad.   Just as mom fell, she was getting used to being alone.   Although she says she will be fine, we do wonder if it will be more difficult for her mentally - she is used to having more people around now.  However, she has to at least try living alone.  I think the anesthesia has done a number on her - she is so much more forgetful and confused since her surgery.  I've been told this is common, especially in people her age, so we will have to wait and see if clears up somewhat.

HAPPY 85th BIRTHDAY, DAD!!

Update, Chuck and Shirl

So, this Friday, August 9th, is Chuck's 85th birthday.  Who would have thought he would be where he is for this birthday, huh?   He has been steadily declining, in that he has been sleeping more and eating less.   He did have a urinary tract infection, and that could have been part of the problem.   I received and email from Sallie today and she said dad seemed to be feeling better.    Will be sending a balloon bouquet on Friday, since I won't be able to see him that day.   I'm sure someone up north will be stopping in to see him.  I did see him this past Saturday, and he was really groggy.   He woke up a few times, and when I asked him what he'd been up to, he said, "Oh, just been workin' really hard around here."  I was there for about an our and he slept most of the time.  It was nice just sitting there with him, though.   Every once in awhile he would open his eyes briefly and look at me, then they were closed.  Don't know if he was really "looking" at me, though.   When I left him, I kissed his head and rubbed his arm.   He perked right up, asked why I did that?   Told him I was his daughter, and that I loved him.   He asked, "I have a daughter?"   I told him he had 2 daughters and he said, "Well, I'll be."  It was tough  to leave him, I have to say.   I think I could have sat there for a few more hours, watching him sleep.   But, had to leave.......

.........to spell Ann, because she had been staying with mom for a few days.  For those of you don't know, mom did have surgery on her arm last Tuesday.   She is staying at Eric's, and Ann came down last Wednesday, because Eric went to San Diego to get Kelby.   I stayed with mom Tuesday night, and through Wednesday afternoon, until Ann made it down.  Ann stayed with mom through Saturday afternoon, and I went back up.   Mom was in a lot of pain the first few days, and had a tough time getting all the anesthesia out of her system.  She is getting around pretty good, and goes back to the doc next Monday for a check up.   Depending on what the doc says, we may get things set up with some help at her home.   Honestly, we are not sure if she will be able, or even want to live alone.   When she fell, she was just getting used to being alone.   I think she enjoys the company, but also wants to be on her own.  The only way we will be able to see if it will work, is to have her try it.   We will have to take it a week at a time.   More to follow.

As dad's birthday approaches, I realize how lucky we have been to have him with us for this long.    I miss the real Charlie, and sincerely hope that he will soon be able to find peace and not have to deal with that jumbled Alz mind.  Be the real Charlie again.   Until then, we have to cherish that small little glimmer of the real Charlie that still shines through every now and then.  

Please send good birthday thoughts to him, and remember the fun times we have had with him over the years.

Love that man.

Update, July 19th

Mom is doing better.  No surgery, but still has to wait until the swelling goes down to put on the cast.  Ann was down all week, and left today.  Mom will be staying with Eric for the next several days, and play things by ear on when she can go home.   She is getting around pretty good, and is starting to be in better spirits.

I received the following email on July 18th, from Sallie Huntington, at Chancellor Gardens.  She is the head nurse there, and is also a very special person.  You can tell she loves her job and residents.


Celia

I wanted to share with you a special experience I had involving your day the past couple days. First you should know my Dad passed away 2 years ago on the 15th and today would have been his 72nd Birthday. So needless to say he has been in my thoughts more than usual this week.

Well yesterday when your Sister & Mom were visiting I had helped your Dad sit on the couch by them, then walked away. I don't know exactly what Charlie did or said but your sister said he wanted to see me. He came to me and asked if my Dad was with me? I of coarse said No. Your Dad then asked where he went? I told him he had passed away. Your Dad went and sat back down and I kind of pushed the thought aside.
Then this morning after breakfast your Dad was just standing by me at the Med Carts not really saying or doing anything. Went I passed in front of him to give someone their meds he looked at me and said "Oh it's you!" I said yeah it's me the medicine lady. Then he said clear as could be "No it's you. Your Dad had to leave." then he gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek. It meant SO much to me since my Dad never left without giving me a hug and kiss on the cheek. Needless to say that simple act brought tears to my eyes.
I have had many spiritual experiences during my time at Chancellor But that by far has meant the most!

Thank You so much for sharing your Dad.

Sincerely
Sallie


***************
We would sure like to know what pop was thinking when he approached Sallie.  Did he see her dad?  Did he see his own dad, or was he thinking about him?  We'll never know, but this touched everyone.  Dad has continued to sleep more, and mumbles incoherently, but obviously, there is still a spark of the non-Alz Charlie.   It is so hard to see him in this state, and some of us have outwardly said we wish he could pass so he could be at peace.  Then, something like the above experience happens, and I realize that pop will pass when it's time.  He clearly has a few lessons to teach or people to help, even in his current state.  Love him.

Chuck....and Shirl

So, this post is mainly about Shirl/Mom, just to let everyone know, if you haven't heard.

Mom fell in the yard Friday night and broke her left arm.  She was changing the water, and tripped on the hose.   She landed on her face, as well, but just has a a little bruise on her upper lip.   She is currently in a splint, and staying with Eric.   Orothopedic appointment on Tuesday, at which time it will be decided if she needs surgery on the arm before casting.   She is in pretty good spirits, and has been a little unsteady due to the pain pills.  However, when I talked with her this morning, she had yet to need a pain pill, and that was about 9:00.   Ann will be coming down Monday evening, and will stay with mom a few days at her own house.   She won't be able to stay alone for awhile, and this may begin more discussion about moving elsewhere - like an assisted living - the opposite of dad's lock down).  As hard as it is to think of mom not living in that house, what happened Friday night was something that we were waiting for.   She doesn't get around very easily, and this winter will be even more difficult.   I know that she really wants to keep her independence, and I really get that.  However, we are concerned about her safety, since she is so tiny and has a tough time walking.  We will have to take this a day at a time.

Dad's condition hasn't changed much from the last post.   He continues to sleep a majority of the time.   I spent the entire day with mom yesterday, and by the time I was done, it was late and dad probably would have been getting ready for bed, so I didn't get to see him.  Sallie did tell me that they weigh everyone each Monday, and she would email me with dad's weight each Monday.   We will likely be looking at Hospice for dad toward the end of this year, unless he escalates more rapidly.    More to come as things develop.

Chuck Update, July 9th

Dad has declined pretty rapidly in the last 2 weeks.  He sleeps more, doesn't seem to be as hungry, and is very frail.    This past week, it was determined that he was probably a little dehydrated, so the staff has made sure he has plenty of water the last few days.  This has helped him, somewhat, but he is still in the final stages of this horrible disease. He won't get better, and I think mom got her hopes up that with the additional water, dad would rally and be more awake.   He is a little more alert, and his color is better.   But, the reality is, he will continue to decline.   I talked to mom just a few minutes ago, and she agrees he won't get better, but she is a little down.  She is now worried about how much longer he will last.   Reminded her that we just have take this one day at a time.  We have talked about Hospice, and when the staff feels like it's time, we will need to explore this with the doc.   Usually, Hospice is not in place until the doc feels the patient has declined to a point where they anticipate passing within 6-12 months.   Sallie did say that based on her experience, she would anticipate dad being on Hospice toward the end of this year.    We will just have to wait and see.    As far as mom goes, we need to keep in close contact with her. 

Updated from Weekend of June 22nd

So, went up north on Saturday.   Headed to dad's place first, and when I got there, he was sitting at a table, scowling.  The aide said he had a bad morning, wouldn't let her finish dressing him.  He had on a sweatshirt, pajama pants, and shoes.   Told her not to worry about it.  Walked over to him, and he scowled at me.  Said he wanted to go to his room, so we started down the hall.   Asked if he was pretty tired.  He said that he was, and told me that he "hasn't slept in days".  Got him to his room and settled him on the couch.   He half dozed, and was talking about and to his mom and dad.  Couldn't decipher everything, but he was definitely having conversations with his folks.  Then, he started talking to me about our courtship days.   Mom arrived, and we hung out for a bit, then headed to lunch.   After lunch, we stopped back in to see pop.  He seemed to be in a better mood, but still had the edge to him.   When I was ready to leave, he asked why I was leaving.    Then told me I was mean to him.   He also referred to the aide and said she was mean.  Than again, he looked at me and told me I was a good looking woman.   So, told him I was his daughter, I wasn't mean to him.  And, he needs to be nice to the aide and not yell and clap at her, she is there to help him.   (He is starting to clap more when he gets agitated.  It's loud, and it can be a little frightening.)  He smiled, and I really think he knew what I was talking about.   Told  him I was leaving, but I would be back.   Guess on Sunday and Monday, he was pretty irritable, according to mom.   Yesterday he was better.  It's just part of this disease.  Hate it.   He has deterioted some, and seems to be more feeble.  He has lost more weight, and it's evident.  He is down to about 133.   Last fall, when I went with him to the doc, he was at 147.   Still seems to like it there, and seems very content and settled, at least for the most part. 

Its true....Erica does go visit.

So I actually go visit Chuck quite often but never update this. I don't know why but I just don't. I will start with a thank you to whoever cut his extremely long nose hairs. I also love that occasionally he is wearing comfy pants instead of his usual pants with a belt. I always bring one or both of my boys when we visit which is a joy for everyone there. My boys used to be scared to death of the place but are doing much better with it now and I actually think they like all the attention they receive. Anywho...Once in a while Chuck is grumpy and sleepy and has no idea who we are and acts annoyed with us...we make those days short visits. Most of the time he is pretty happy and excited to see us. He lights up and tells me I'm familiar and he loves seeing both boys. But there is something different when he sees Z, he is ecstatic, he hugs him and talks non-stop with his arm around him. I'm not exactly sure who he thinks Z is. One thing that bothers me is the comments he will say to Z, I'm probably being a paranoid Mom but he will say things like "I'm coming back for you when I'm done" or "In the end I'll come back and get you"or I'll take you with me in the end". Um, what?? I ask him what he is talking about and he will just repeat it and smile. It bugs me. Does he know something? Should I leave my sweet boy locked in the house forever? Of course the hubs tells me I am a freak. He does always tell Z "get er done!" Whatever Chuck says Z just smiles and nods. It's very interesting.

Father's Day Update

Sounds like pop had a busy day on Father's Day.    Mom went to church with him, and the then mom, Ann, and Kent took him on a picnic.  Ann said he enjoyed being outside, and ate really well.  

We popped in to see Chuck about 3:00.  He was out cold in his chair.   Hung around for about 45 minutes, and didn't say much.  He was pretty tired,sounds like the picnic and the heat wore him out.    I did ask him how his picnic was, and he told me it was pretty cool.    When we left, he barely mumbled good-bye.  It was weird seeing him on Father's Day, and not at the house.   There are "firsts" for everything, though, and it takes some time to get used to. 

We all met at the house for a weenie roast.  Again, it was weird, and mom was doing her best to not cry.   She is trying really hard, and has gotten a lot better. 

Perry Visit! June 10-12

Chris, Elmer and I just got home from our annual trek up north to visit the Grandfolks! We had a great time playing with Gramma, visiting Grampa, and enjoying the beautiful weather!

We rolled in to Layton on Monday afternoon, reeking of smoke from a weekend of camping. Gramma let us shower and do a load of laundry. She was complaining about her dryer not working very well, but after Chris discovered a bird's nest in the vent tube, we decided that was the problem. We cleaned out the tube and got a new vent cover for the outside, and the dryer works just fine now. 

We went down to visit Grampa on Tuesday morning. He was pretty sleepy, but was glad to see us. I'm pretty sure he recognized us - he gave me a big hug and enjoyed watching Elmer putter around his room. Grampa stood by his chair, waggling his finger at Elmer and saying "Hi!" while Elmer wandered in circles around him. I think Elmer wore him out - he fell asleep in his chair after a while, so we left and said we'd be back tomorrow. As we were leaving, we had a bunch of the ladies come up and say hi to Elmer - he was a big hit and enjoyed all the attention.

The rest of the day Tuesday, we just visited with Gramma and sat on the back porch enjoying the weather. Elmer helped Gramma water the lawn - he loves sprinklers and faucets!

We went down to Chancellor again on Wednesday morning and found Grampa sitting in someone else's room. He got up after we called him, though, and came out into the hall. Gramma asked him if he remembered Elmer, and he said "Sure! Just not that name." He was pretty happy to see us, gave another hug, and smiled at Elmer. We took him out to see our new van - he walked between me and Gramma and held our hands. I asked him if he liked the new van, he said "It's all right." He asked what kind it was, and when we told him it was a Dodge Grand Caravan he said that was pretty good. It was fun to walk around a bit outside, and I think he liked holding our hands and feeling the sunshine. His room's AC had been set at 72 degrees, so we turned it up to 77 before we left.

(I like these pictures even though Elmer was trying to slide off my lap, because you can see the Grampa was talking to him and smiling.)

After our walk, he was pretty tired, so we went back to his room and sat down for a few minutes. When he started to nod off, we gave him hugs and kisses, told him we loved him and said we'd see him later. He gave Elmer a kiss goodbye.

It was really great to get up and see the Grandfolks. I'm glad to see Grampa getting such good care at Chancellor - it looks like a nice place. Gramma says she gets lonely still, but is adjusting. She had a good time visiting with us, and she enjoyed playing with Elmer. I wish we weren't so far away, but I'm glad we make it up every year. We'll hope to see more of the family next year!

Weekend Update, June 8-9

Went up north on Saturday.  Spent some time with mom, and then had a great time at dad's place.   Dad and Naola were sitting behind the counter, and dad had just started to walk back around when I got there.   I put my arms around him, and he looked at me, and said, "Well hello little girl".  Big smile.   It was a little chaotic, because a guy he went to school with Don Weaver, has just been moved in on Friday.  Don remembered mom, and was also hitting on all the women, including me.  Dad seemed a little overwhelmed, but handled it ok.  I took some stuff down to dad's room, and when I came back, Don's wife and daughter were just coming out of his room.  Dad, Don, and mom had settled down in one of the couches in the big room.   I sat down, and Don's wife pulled up a chair.  Dad dozed in and out, but Don's wife never shut up.   I would shoot myself if I had to live with that.   Every once in awhile, dad would wake up, look over at me, then shut his eyes again.   He did hold my hand the entire time.   It was an eventful day at Chancellor.  First, Susan sat down by me.   She was very alert, and asked if I wanted to go to her room and see her pictures.  Kept saying over and over "My kids and grandkids, my kids and grandkids".   She put her hand out and we walked down the hall to her room.   I have to say, this was pretty emotional for me.   Her room is covered with huge photos of her family - kids, grandkids, husband, and herself.   Remember, she is just just 52, and apparently the early onset of Alz hit her hard.   I told her what a pretty family she had, and she agreed.   She was beautiful in the pictures, and seemed so happy.   I thanked her for letting me see her family, and she hugged me.   I walked back up to sit with dad.  Naola walked up to me, squinted her eyes, and said, "Who do you think you are?"   I squinted back, and told her she knew who I was.  Then she smiled, and said, "Charlie's daughter".   I asked her who she was and she told me she was a bad-ass.   Then she said she was beyond redemption, and laughed for a long time.  She sat down by me, and kept making comments about everyone.   By this time, dad was ready to go to his room.  Thank goodness, Don and the gabber had already gone to his room, so we did have a few quiet moments.   We walked dad down to his room.  Naola was laying on the floor in the hall.  I walked by, and told her she was right in the middle.  She yelled, "I know".   We got dad settled, and kissed him good-bye.  He was just fine, seemed content and was ready to sleep.  Took mom home, and then left.  Mom was doing pretty good. She is definitely trying really hard, but the weekends and evenings are really lonely for her.   Cue Sunday morning...

The phone rang shortly after 7:00, and it was mom.  Chancellor had just called her and dad had fallen around 3:30 this morning.  He was doing fine, but they wanted to let her know.   Told her I would meet her there.  When I got there, Eric and mom were hanging with dad.  He was a little pale, but I guess when they first arrived, his color wasn't good.  Sally, the head nurse, told me he was fine, nothing that seemed to be of concern.   Dad was sitting on his bed in his jammies.  He didn't want to get up for breakfast, so they just kept and eye on him and let him sleep.    Eric got him dressed, and then I fed him a piece of cake that Eric had brought him.  He settled in his chair and slept for awhile.   Don't believe the fall did any damage, he was just really tired.   Shortly after 11:00, we got him up to take him to lunch.  When we opened the door, Susan was just reaching for it.  She was coming to get us, and was happy to see me.  I gave her a hug.   As we passed Naola's door, she joined us.   When we came down the hall, the aides all stopped and looked at us - brought the entire group with us.   We got dad settled at a table with Jan and 2 other residents.  Jan, of course, said she would take good care of Charles.   I said good-bye to Naola, and she asked when she would see me.  Told her next week.  Susan walked with us to the door.   I gave her a hug, and told her I would see her next week.  She did want to walk out with us, but Sally stopped her.  

I have to say, after these past 2 days, I almost look forward to going to Chancellor.   I don't think most of the residents get many visitors.  It is very rare to see more than 1 or 2 people, and I am only there once a week.  Mom said she doesn't see many people at all, and she is there almost every day.  These people are still human, and you can tell they crave the touch and the connection with other people.   It is  pretty heartwarming to see them,  and I am looking forward to seeing my dad and the others next week.

So, another action packed weekend.  We are glad that dad wasn't injured, and it will be good to see him again next week.

Update, June 3

Went to see the folks on Saturday.  Mom was doing pretty good - she is trying really hard to adapt to everything.  I think the most difficult for her are the evenings.  She mentioned Saturday that after dinner, her and dad used to talk about everything.  This was with the real dad, not alz dad.  She enjoys her independence, but gets lonely.  We will have to wait and see how she feels down the road.

We went and saw dad on Saturday afternoon.  He was in his room, snoozing in his chair.  Melinda, the tech, said he had been doing really well that morning.    I rubbed dad's arm, sat down on the floor, and he started to wake up.  Told him he looked handsome, and he said, "Well, you need your eyes checked, little girl."   Asked him if he wanted to go for a walk, since it was really nice outside.   He said he thought he could manage that.   We put on his sweater and the 3 of us walked around the building.   We went in through the front door, and sat down in the activity area.    One of the nurses on the assisted side said she was glad see Charlie, and since he didn't make it out to that area very often, she gave us cookies.   Dad thought that was pretty good.   I did notice his Parkinson's Disease was pretty active - he was shaking so hard he could barely hold onto the cup of water.   He enjoyed the cookie, though, and was starting to get tired.   We walked back to his area, and he wanted to sit in the common area.    He immediately fell asleep, but I noticed he reached for mom's hand.   See the pix below.  After about 30 mintues, he suddenly woke up and said he was ready to go to his "place".   So, we walked down to his room and got him settled on the couch.   He was cute and contented, and it is good to see him that way.   

Mom went to church with him Sunday morning, and she said he was in a really good mood, pretty chippper.  He was all ready for church, and waiting in his room when she arrived.   When it was time to head up the hall, guess he told her he needed a kiss from her.  I think this really improved her spirits, because she was very happy he had a good day.  Eric and fam were at mom's Sunday afternoon, and Eric said she was talking about how much dad liked to have the fam around for a weiner roast.   I talked to her last night, and she was doing well.  Said it was nice to have a weiner roast, and wants to do more.  We will.

Dad has an appointment with his internest on Tuesday morning, and mom is going to bring up the increased shaking.  Eric did mention that when he saw dad last week, he was even shaking in his sleep.  

 Enjoying cookies in the common area, on the assisted living side.   Dad reached for mom's hand when he was half asleep, and this is how they stayed for quite some time.

Weekend Update

Headed up to see Chuck on Saturday morning.  I got there about 9:30, and he was sleeping in one of the chairs near the kitchen.  Very sound.   He mumbled when I rubbed his arm, and then went back into a deep sleep.   I hung out for about an hour, and then took off.   Melinda said he had a good morning, but if I noticed some nicks, he started putting up a fight when they were shaving him, so they stopped.   Other than that, he had been doing well.   He did put his hand out when I rubbed his arm, and I held his hand the entire time I was there.   I've said it before, but I have really noticed how he wants to touched, craves that interaction.  
Eric stopped in on Sunday, and he was in a great mood.  He sent a pic to my phone, and dad looked really good.  The pic came across weird, and I can't download it, so if and when I can figure it out, I will post it here.   Good to see him looking good.  
Dean and Virgie went to church with him yesterday morning.    Said he was doing well.  When they came back from church, the ambulance was there, because there was a man laying on the floor in the dining area.    Yuck.  Virgie walked down to dad's room to get his sweater, and she said there was a short little lady sitting in his chair, just shoving the m&m's in her mouth, from the candy dish.   Virgie told her it wasn't her room, and she left.   By the way she described her to mom, we both think it was Skipper, aka, Naolia.  
Tara and her family stopped in there on Friday, and mom said dad didn't know them, but sure enjoyed having them there.  
He loves to have visitors - when he's awake.  He tends to sleep pretty heavily for a few days, then will be more alert in the days to follow.  

Sunday, May 19

Chad and I, along with Trent and Marione, had a good day with pop.  He was alert and talking about everything from farming to his bishop duties.   We took him outside for a walk, and he had to sit in Trent's car.    Spent about an hour with him, and after walking around, he was ready for a nap.   He was playing around a lot, acting like a doddering old man.   He sure thinks hard about things, and then talks off in a completely different direction.   We just go along with him, even when we can't understand what he is saying.  I know he has slept a log this last week, which is part of the disease.   He will go for days and sleep, then be alert and yapping for a few days.    It was good to see him happy and settled.  Said they work things pretty good around there, and he works hard, too.  He's mentioned this before, and I believe he thinks he works there.   It was a good day, and it's easier to leave him when he seems content.  

Mother's Day, May 12

Had a picnic at Layton Park yesterday, with mom, Eric, and the fams.  Dad was elated to be outside.  I called Chancellor around 9:00, and told them I would pick him up by 11:30-11:45.   Asked that he not eat, since we would be going on a picnic.   When Chad and I arrived, dad was not happy with Tiara, his aide.   She had him all ready to go, but told him he wouldn't be eating there.  Guess he said, "To hell with that, I'm hungry."  He was walking around the hall, looking at the pictures.   When we approached him, he turned around and scowled at us.   Told him I was his daughter, and Chad was his grandson, and we were taking him to the park for a picnic.   His face lit up, and he said, "Well, I'll be."   We led him out the door, and he was sooo happy.  It was nice to see.   Belted him into the front seat, and he sat straight up, looking all around.  Got him settled in a lawn chair, and after a little while, he said he wanted to lay on the grass.   He enjoyed that for about a 1/2 hour, and went back to the chair.   I think it was a little strange for him to be out, because he seemed a disoriented when it came time to eat.    He is on such a schedule and in a routine at Chancellor, that he was probably a little out of sorts.    He handled everything very well, though.   The fam hung out at the part for about 3 hours, and then it was time to leave.  Dad was tired, and we could tell he was ready to go.  Eric took him back, and said he settled right in, seemed content.  Deb cut his hair, and then he was starting to eat when they left.   A good day for him!   Mom was having a tough time, very emotional about the day.   Said it is so difficult for her to go one way, and see dad go another.   She is still dealing with a lot of emotions, and she goes in spurts.   I think any type of holiday seems to be especially difficult for her, which is understandable. 
Picture below of Chuck enjoying the grass:

Sunday, 5/05
Chad and I went up north yesterday.  Went to lunch with mom, then stopped in to see pop.   He was sleeping at the table in the dining area.    I called his name and rubbed his arm.  He kind of mumbled and tried to open his eyes, but couldn't do it.   Very sleepy.   The group went on their ride Friday afternoon, and this seems to wear him out.   He enjoys it, but it usually takes a few days for him to recover.   We sat there about an hour, and he was in and out of it.   If anything, it's fun to sit there and people watch.    He did wake up enough to say he wanted to go to his room.   He was sleepy he had a hard time walking, even with Chad and I helping him.  Once we got to his room, he headed straight for the couch.   The window was open a little, and it was kind of nice in there.   He sat down, and said he wanted to sleep more.   I tucked his blanket in around him, kissed is head, and told him we were leaving now.  He said OK.  Told him I loved him, and he smiled.   Mom is going down this morning for church and lunch, so will get an update later.

Sunday, 4/28

Talked to mom last night.   Guess when she went down to dad's yesterday, he got really agitated.   I know Eric and fam were with him before mom got there, and he slept most of the time.   When mom got there, he was asleep on his couch, so she sat there for a bit.   He started stirring, and when he woke up, they walked up the hall to the big room.   There was a basketball game on, and they watched that, then dad fell asleep.    The med tech came over and tried to wake him, because it was time to take his meds, but they couldn't get him to wake up.   They let him sleep for a little while.   After some time, the aide came over and tried to wake him, because it was time to go to the bathroom.   Dad did wake up, but was pretty disoriented.   They let him sit there and get awake, but when she asked him to follow her to the bathroom, he started clapping his hands and yelling at her.   Something about he was "going to kill all of you".   Mom said she handled it really well, asked him if he wanted to go into the bathroom by himself, and he said yes.   After a few minutes, she opened the door to check on him and he was just standing there staring at the door.    She gently rubbed  his arm and he grabbed it and brushed her off, and started yelling again.   So, she suggested he come out and sit in the chair.    He did, but was very agitated.   Mom did walk over, but let the aides take care of it.    Dad was totally oblivious to her, and sat in the chair.    Given his agitation, she decided it would best for her to leave.   As she left, he was yelling at the tv about the basketball game.

I think she was a little down about him.   Guess he has gotten this way a few times before with the aides.   I think she was embarrassed, and said, "He shouldn't do that there."  Reminded her that he got like this at home, and this is part of the reason he is there.   It's not like he is a guest, and we shouldn't be embarrassed, it's part of the disease.    She agreed, but I can see where it affected her a little bit.  It is hard to go there, and see this.   She was OK after we talked awhile, but I could tell it was tough.  She is going down this morning to go to church, then will eat lunch with him, if he is not agitated.   The boys and I will go see him afterwards, then head up to mom's.   More later.
**************************************************
4:30 pm
We headed up north this afternoon.    Mom was just leaving dad's place when we got there.  She had gone to church with him and stayed for lunch.   Said he was in a good mood, no yelling or agitation.   Still really tired.   We went down to his room and he was out like a light on his couch.   I rubbed his arm a few times and gave him a hug.  He kind of mumbled, but just couldn't come around.  We hung out for about a 1/2 hour, and then took off.   We said good bye to him, told him we loved him.  He half way smiled, and I told him to go back to sleep, that we'd come back another time.  He said OK, and smiled again, then was out.

Headed up to mom's and hung out there for awhile.  Mom got a letter from the insurance company yesterday, indicating dad is eligible for benefits on the 91st day of.   They will contact Chancellor directly and make the arrangements.    This is good!!  I didn't think they would deny the claim, but you just never know with these kinds of things.   Mom has her new furniture in, and she is pretty excited.   We stayed about 1 1/2 hours, and she was disappointed when we left.    Told her that Chad and I will come up on Saturday, and we'll go to lunch.    We will also see her Friday night, Rick and Lori are picking her up to come down to Bry's play.

Weekend Visit

Spent some time with pop yesterday, after mom and I went to the support group.  He was sitting in his chair sleeping, and was a little disoriented when he woke up, but came around after a few minutes.   Gave him a hug and told him he looked good, and he played the doddering old man for a few minutes. He is missing a tooth on the bottom - right in the middle.   Mom said she hadn't noticed it on Friday.   Didn't bring it up to him, and it really doesn't matter at this point anyway, but the gap is noticeable.   He was pretty sleepy, but was talking about the ranch and his brothers.   I couldn't quite make out everything, but just went along with him.   It just amazes me, still, that he pulls up these memories from so many years ago.    He jumped from one subject to another, asked if I was still working, and where did I live.   Then he would comment about the cute little girls that worked there.   Told him that yes, they are cute, and they are there to help him, so he needs to be nice to them.  He smiled.   I said that, because when I was talking to Sally, there has been a couple of times the last few weeks where dad has gotten pretty aggressive with the aides.   My guess, is, it's because there have been a few new faces hired on, because he allows Jessica, Sarah, and Melinda, to help him.   But, I could tell he knew what I was talking about.  He asked about the weather, and I told him that when (if) it every warms up, we will take him to the park so he can watch the ducks.  He smiled at this.   Mom was napping on the couch, so I just sat on the floor by the chair and talked with pop eye to eye.   He started drifting off, and I asked him if he wanted to sleep more.  He said yes.   Dinner time was coming soon, so I gave him a kiss, told him I loved him, and said I would be back to see him soon.   I should mention that the entire time I was by him, he held my hand, or had has hand on my arm.   He seems to want that physical connection.  Cute little man!

A couple of notes:   Pop does continue to wander around, just as the others do.   When mom went to see him earlier this week, he wasn't to be found anywhere, and James found him asleep on Susan's bed.     Guess when he's tired, he pops in to whatever room looks comfy.   There is another guy, Clyde, who has moved in, so there are 5 men now.   Mom said when she took dad down to dinner, he sat at the table with 3 of the guys.   Remember Miss Chelsie?  Well, Chelsie was really a girl, but was referred to as guy while there because it was confusing for the residents.  AND...Chelsie  and Whitney were "a couple".   I was talking with Sally about who has left, and she kept referring to Chelsie as "she", so I explained my confusion to her.   So, there you have it.  

I should also mention that mom and I had a long talk about sweating the "little things."  She is getting better about things, but I told her that she needs to remember that if she wants things to be just like they were at home for dad, we need to find someone that will stay by his side 24 hours.   We can't control the fact that he doesn't get shaved every day.  In fact, when mom brought his up to Sally, dad hasn't wanted help to shave, or shave at all, on several occasions.  When the residents get mad, they let it go - it's not worth the agitation.   Virgie suggested to mom that if this bugged her so much, get an electric shaver (the last one broke) and shave him when she is there, then take it home.   Mom does seem to be getting better about things, because when we first arrived, someone else's shoes were under dad's bed.  She just laughed about it.  Two weeks ago, she would have been upset.  In time, I guess.

Sunday, April 14

Stopped in and visited with Chuck today.   He was doing well.  Had just finished lunch and was hanging out in the big room.   Was very happy to see us, gave us all big hugs.   He recognized Bryson, as someone he knew, but didn't know his name.    Asked Bry, "How long has it been?"   He then told Bry to give him another hug, since it had been awhile.   Knew the rest of us, just wasn't quite sure how.  His pants were falling down, didn't have his belt on.  We walked down to his room, and the buckle had broken on his belt, so it was just laying on the couch.  Fred fixed it, so I put on the belt and pop said that was much better.  Opened the blinds and he sat in the sun on the couch.  He was in a talkative mood - talked about the winds they had up there the last few days, and then rambled about just everything.  Looked good, was starting to get tired.   We hung out for a little bit, and he was really starting to droop.  He said he was ready for a nap, so I tucked the blanket around him.   Kissed his forehead and told him I loved him.    He gave Fred and the boys a big hug, too.   On the way out the door, told him I loved him again, and he said "love you too".   It was tough to leave him today, for some reason.   He is definitely content, and just such a cute little man now.   (Never thought I would refer to my dad as a little man - or cute.)  It was good to see him.

As we got closer to the desk, Stan and Skipper were standing there, and Skipper reached around and pinched his bum.   I figured he would do something, but he didn't do a thing, just kept standing there.   We did pass Sam, who turned 95 yesterday.   His daughter was with him, and she lives in San Francisco.  Says she comes and visits every 2-3 months.   Pretty quiet today, compared to last week.

Just talked to mom about 8:00.  She went down to dad's this evening, and they couldn't find him.  James, the aide, went room to room.  Found him sound asleep on Susan's bed.  Susan was out wandering the halls, as usual.  

Chad and Bryson, hanging out with Grandpa

Monday, April 8

Spent some time with pop yesterday.   He was doing good, pretty sleepy, but in a good mood.   When I got there, he was just finishing up lunch and standing in the dining area.   I walked up to him and he was really happy to see me - gave me a big hug.    He was cold, so we walked down to his room.   I open the blinds, put on his sweater, and he sat in the sun with his blanket tucked around him.    Asked him if he knew who I was, and he said I was his little girl.   He was rambling about working there, so I just went along with things.    Mom arrived shortly after that, and dad wanted to go out and sit in the hall.   I can now see why - pretty active place.  As it turns out, dad has taken a liking to one of the rocking chairs in a lady's room.   Ashely, the med tech, found him there earlier in the morning, and it's the same place mom found him last week.  Dad also had on someone else's shoes, so we just switched his out.    While we were in the hall, Skipper and Susan were wandering around together, and Susan actually pushed Skipper.  Pretty funny.   The staff would walk by and say hi to Charlie, and he would smile.   He dozed a little, but was still aware of what was happening around him.   Eric got there, and then mom and I took off.   All in all, pop seems pretty content.  He is defninately getting more frail, but that is due to his age and the disease.  He does like to have visitors, even though he is asleep half of the time.

Sittin' in his usual spot, enjoying the sun.

Wednesday, April 3

Just quick update. 

Dad is doing well, seems to continue to enjoy the place.    Hasn't slugged anyone in a long time!   Both Trent and Ann were down last week, and spent some time with him.   I saw him Friday and then Sunday.  He was in a good mood, rambling quite a bit, but it's easy to just agree with him and follow along.     His glasses did show up, and Ann bought some chums for him.  These won't prevent him from taking them off, but might help in taking them off so much.    As it turns out, pop does wander quite a bit into other rooms, if the door is open.   When  Fred, Chad, and I stopped in on Sunday, he was sitting at the table in the dining area.    Seemed pleased to see us, and knew we were related, just wasn't sure how.  He wanted to to his room to get his sweater, so we walked down the hall.  He was moving pretty quickly, so I guess the fact that his room his at the other end of the hall has built up his endurance.    He does seem more frail, and even the nurses have noticed.  That's just part of the disease, and something we will likely continue to see progress.

Wednesday, March 27

Deb stopped by pop's today, and took him a root beer shake.   He was very happy - kept drinking and drinking and saying how good it was.   See pic below.

Ann is down and she was able to spend some time with him.  Said they had a guy there that was singing and clapping, and pop was going right along with him.   He was having fun.

Pop's glasses are lost again.  AND, Eric was visiting last night and dad did wander into rooms where the doors were open. Sally is aware they are missing, and they aren't in Stan's room.  It's entirely possible dad took them off somewhere, even in someone else's room, and set them down.   I did talk to Sally, and she said the residents that use chums or something to keep their glasses around their heads, seem to do ok with them.  So, if the glasses turn up, we can try this. 

Sunday, March 24th

Mom went to see dad on Friday, and he was sitting on one of the couches in the big room, talking to the ladies.  He had his glasses on - guess they found them.   Dad was happy to see her, and asked her where she'd been.  She told him he had been sleeping all week, and that she had been there every day.   Guess he said, "Well, how about that."   As it turns out, Stan does wander and they are trying to work with him on that.
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Went up this morning, and dad was in church.   I stood at the back, and watched everyone.  There are a bunch of volunteers who come in and take the residents to church, and several of them walked up to me and asked me if I was there with someone.   The volunteer position is actually a church calling, and they are in that position for about 2-3 years.   Afterwards, I walked up to dad, and stuck my head over his shoulder and said hi.  He said, "Hi, little girl."  Wow.   A woman walked up to me and said, "And you are...".  Told her I was one of his daughters and would take him back to his area.  She said that was fine, she had been assigned to him, and wanted to make sure he made it back.  I liked the fact that they really keep an eye on them, and any visitors around.   Dad wanted to go back to his room, so we walked down the hall.  Two ladies, Grace and Elaine, decided to walk with us.  Elaine told me I needed to help save Charles, and when I asked her why, she said something about the big black things flying in.  Told her I would try and save him.  She then commented how softly Charles talks, and she can barely him. But, he is such a nice man.   As we got closer to dad's room, Skipper aka Naolia, was laying on the floor.   I asked her if she needed help, and she told me to go away, she didn't need any help.   I watched her and she was obsessed with the pattern on the carpet.  Pretty soon, she stood up and went on her merry way.   You never know what you are going to see or hear at this place.  Dad was cold, so I was helping him put on his sweater, and out of the blue he said,"Where's Travis and Jay?"   Wow.  Told him Jay is in Las Vegas, and Trav was in Chicago.  He then said, "They are good kids."   You just never know what is rolling around in that brain of his.   He sat on the couch in the sun, and he was facing the cars on his wall.   We started talking about the cars, and then he was telling me about living on the farm with his brothers and the cars they liked to drive.   I couldn't understand him half the time, but he was enjoying being able to talk and laugh.  He then started talking about "this place" and they sure have good food.  Lots of snacks too.   Told him it was time for me to take him back down the hall to lunch, and he asked what he was having.  Don't know.  He said he hopes it was dead.  Then laughed.   We were halfway down the hall, and the aide came and asked him if he wanted turkey or beef.  He said, "Yeah."   Then laughed.   Sat him down, and told him I would be back with mom in a little while.  He then said, "Shirley Mae?"   Yup, the one and only.   I started to leave and he said, "Hey, I want some of that stuff."  Couldn't figure it out, and he was having a hard time coming up with it, and was pointing at the glass.   Asked him if he wanted root beer...yes, that was it.  Told the aide on the way out that he wanted root beer, and she said he has it every day at lunch.

Headed to Shirl's and ate dinner with her, then we filled out insurance forms.  Will get those mailed off tomorrow.    We then went down to the home, and as we were walking down the hall, Stan started to follow us.   He is a big boy.    We walked into the Man Cave, and dad was sound asleep in his chair - deeply.  Didn't even flinch when I rubbed his arm.   A knock on the door - I answered it and there was Stan.   He said, "I wasn't sure where we were going."  Told him Charlie was taking a nap and we were going to stay with him.  He said OK, and walked off.   Mom dozed and after a little bit, I decided to take off.   Dad was still out - didn't even move when I kissed his head.  This is the first time in a month that I haven't cried when I've left him.  Guess that's a good thing.  He really does seem settled, likes his room, and it's good to see him socialize with everyone.   Pictures from today - sitting in the sun on the couch, and then snoozing in his chair this afternoon.

Wednesday Update

Yes, things have been pretty quiet!   No more wearing of women's clothes, and no slugging.   Dad definitely seems to be settling in, and is doing well.   This make it easier on all of us.   He is pretty wobbly today, as he was on Monday.   He hasn't had anymore falls, though.  

Weekend Update

Dad had a great time on the ride this past Friday.   Now that the weather is better, they will take scenic bus rides every Friday afternoon.   When I talked to him Saturday, he did remember that he had seen a bunch of horses and thought that was pretty neat.   They took them to a ranch up by Morgan.   This wore him out thought, he could barely keep his eyes open for dinner Friday evening, but he did have fun.

Saturday was a good day.   Spent some time with dad before our support group on Saturday afternoon. After the group, I took him for a walk around the grounds, and he clipped right along.   Liked seeing the cars in the parking lot, and he had a good time.   He did say he wanted to go for a ride, and I told him when I visited the next time, I would take him.  Sally feels like this will be fine, as long as we don't take him home.   The picture below is after we came back from his walk and he was resting.

Yesterday, Sunday, Chancellor called mom about 2:00 and dad had fallen.   She went down there and he was in his room with his arm wrapped in gauze.   She spent some time with him, then went home, but returned for dinner.    When she walked in, he was eating dinner sitting in a wheelchair.   I called James, the tech assignment to dad until 10 last night.   They think dad was either reaching for something on the table and fell out of the chair, or stood up and tripped over his feet.   He had scraped his arm on the carpet - nothing serious, but because his skin is so think, they put some neosporin on it and wrapped it.    Had a little bump on the back of his head.   They checked his vitals, eyes weren't dialated, blood pressure was fine.    James said he hadn't been on the floor very long, as they had just seen him walk back to his room.  He figures about 10 to 15 minutes, at the most.   Asked him about the wheelchair.   He said when he went to get dad for dinner, dad didn't want to walk.   He was very wobbly, but not like a head injury wobbly, like he sometimes gets.   They brought him to dinner in a wheelchair as a safely measure.  After dinner, he was up walking around with no problem.  Said the would be checking him every hour during the night, to make sure he didn't have any injuries.  Something funny - when mom first walked in, dad had someone else's pants on, and a woman's sweater around his shoulders.  When she returned, he was in his own clothes.   We are thinking that dad probably took these from a stack of clothes that is sitting on the chair outside his room.  The aides wouldn't have done this, as they all know where dad's clothes are, and laundry had just been done Friday night - there were plenty of clean clothes.  Dad probably just grabbed them from the stack.

Told mom to call me during the night if she received a call, or if she called down there and things had turned south.  No call, so I am assuming dad had a good night.

Note - Naolia and Skipper are the same.   Apparently, Naolia has never been married and in the heyday of the free love era, spent some time in a nudist colony in San Francisco.   Sally said she has been known to strip off everything, even recently.   Wanted us to be aware.  They try to keep clothes on her, but obviously aren't able to watch her every second of the day.  It all makes sense now!
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2:00 pm
Dad had a good night, no developments from his fall yesterday.  Doing well.   They couldn't get him to eat breakfast this morning, but he did eat lunch.    In a good mood, no concerns or problems.  Whew!

Friday Night 

My boy and I were in the area and stopped by around 5 last night for a visit. Grandpa had just finished dinner and was back in his room, when we entered his room I yelled for him but nothing, I walked in further and he wasn't in there....so I thought. He then shouts..come on in...I said where are you? I walk to the pitch black bathroom and there he is fumbling with his belt, I helped him do his belt up and told him MAYBE you should turn on the light and you could actually see what your doing. I know these are his normal clothes and Shirl probably wouldn't like it but maybe he could wear more casual pants without a belt, zipper and button without his shirt tucked in, seems like it would be more comfortable but maybe hes comfortable in what he's used to......just a thought. We brought him some sugar wafers which he loved and shared with boy, he was very excited to see boy and can't believe what a handsome guy he is. He knew we looked familiar but didn't know who we were. After about 15 min. Grandma stopped by I asked him if he knew who she was and he said, I believe she is my lovely wife...I said yes, she is. He said he was happy about that but he doesn't get to see her that often (she was rumbling around his clothes talking under her breath...not listening to a word he was saying)  I told him he'd get sick of her if he saw her more so its best this way...he laughed. She was very happy he knew who she was :) He had a lot of things he was trying to tell us....Grandma got tired of listening....but I was really concentrating on what he was trying to get out....He said he had a great time on his trip today up the canyon and saw some horses....he spent 5 min. trying to tell me something he wanted and finally I was able to get it...he wants a map of where he went today.....I told him I would ask the nurses when I left exactly where he went and have Mike make him a map and bring it next week when I come...which made him so happy.  He really enjoyed getting out today and told me all about it. He also asked me if I went running today, I said yes...I did. He said he was chasing me screaming?!? I said you were....he says...yep that was me chasing you....I don't know what that was about!?!? When I said we had to go now he told me ok that he was just going to sit in his chair and scream now....I said why would you do that...well I don't know and then he laughed.