Whew - big step today. Took mom to Chancellor, and she put a deposit down on a room for dad. This gets him officially on the waiting list, and he is 2nd or 3rd down. However, things change all the time. I will be surprised if she does not get a phone call from them within 1 week to 10 days. When they do call, she can say no, and they will keep him on the list. If she says yes, we have 2 weeks to get his room ready and get him there. We then went back to the memory care unit again, and looked at a room. The first time we were there was such a blur, she wanted to see it again. Mom had tears in her eyes when she wrote out the check, and I really had a hard time not losing it right there. The people there are so nice. We talked with Tammy today - Abby's counterpart. She told mom that when the patients first get there, they do everything possible to distract them, yet allow them time to adjust. Mom is really worried about how dad will react. Tammy also told her that once dad gets settled, she can spend as much time as she wants with him. Even spend the night once in awhile, if she would like. . I did tell her that when they call, to tell them she will talk to her kids and call them back. Also told her to prepare herself, because she WILL get a phone call, we just don't know when. If she says no, she may need to wait another month before a room becomes available.
We also went to the insurance guy to discuss dad's policy. The day dad goes in, I will need to notify them, so they can get the paperwork going and the 90 day out of pocket begins. Mom will get a packet in the mail, and will need to complete it, as well as getting a doc's signature, attesting that dad does have cognitive impairment.
We went to lunch, and started talking about what Trent brought up - that dad probably started with his symptoms in the 1990's, and we just didn't know to even think of anything then. She agrees. Said as she has thought about things, she can remember a few instances where she wondered if he was OK. Nothing drastic, but some signs were definitely there.
She does still think that the herbal pills have been helping dad and his moods, although he hasn't taken any for the last 3 days, as they are out. Told her it's possible, although I think the reason he is not as agitated, is that she has changed her approach and tone with him. Since we have started working on all of this, I have definitely noticed a difference. I am sure that has something to do with the things, along with who knows what else, other than it's just the disease.
Dad was waaaay out of it today. Fred took him thru the Wendy's drive thru, and they went back to the house to eat. After he ate, he wandered around the house, and kept asking who the house belonged to. Fred told him he owned it, and lived there with his wife. Didn't remember his wife. Dad also kept mumbling about where the money comes from. Fred told him he used to work at HAFB, and has a retirement income that comes every month. He couldn't remember working at the base, but did remember when Fred asked him about working on F16 projects. Fred asked him if he knew what an F16 was, and he immediately said plane. Funny how some of those things come to him, and then nothing on others. When mom and I got back, I asked dad what the two of them had been doing, and he told me, "chasing women". He didn't know who either of us was, but said we looked familiar. When we left, I gave him a kiss and told him I loved him. It's tough to back out and see that head in the window, and know that it's my dad's body, but not really my dad. It's going to be hard to pull up one day soon, and not see that head in the window. I was bawling my eyes out when I looked up again, and realized that today, it had a John Deere hat on top of it. This made me smile - happy memories. Love my Pops!
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