Some Grandpa Memories...

So it would figure I'd post for the first time the day that Grandpa passes. I'm sure he's gettin' a little laugh outta that right now.

Hi Fam...and relatives...and whomever else may drop by to read about Chuck. Feelings and emotions are a little raw right now but I'm gonna do my best to keep things halfway coherent.

 Wow, oh wow...where do you start with a man like Charles? I'm guessing he gave a soft "Well good morning.." to whomever greeted him and let out that subtle chuckle. (Hey, he'd like that one!!) Grandpa always began each conversation, at least in the phone calls we'd have, with a "good morning," no matter what time of day it was. Always made me laugh. And, like it's been throughout the night, now it's starting to make me cry...pardon me, lemme grab a kleenex...that's five used up in just the last 30 minutes. Maybe we'll double that by the end of the post...

It was a week ago Sunday that I saw him last. Aislinn and I were in town, getting ready for a big ol' family vacation in southern Utah as we left the next day. The Wife--Aislinn--, myself and Mom stopped by his happenin' pad. Walked past a gaggle of the old folks in the big room watching TV. I just smiled nervously because I had that knot in my stomach, knowing that knot would turn into tears as soon as I walked in the room. And, yeah, the floodgates opened. He was asleep in the chair as a John Wayne movie was on TV. Mom leaned down, kissed his head and tried to wake him a little. He struggled, kinda opening one eye and and then back to sleep. Aislinn and I sat down on his little couch as Mom tried to talk to him again. It was then I had a conscious moment to take this all in because I knew this would probably be the last time I'd see him on this side. It was tough. Very tough. It felt like thousands of memories sped through the head in a matter of seconds. More tears...both at the home that day and right now. I watched him struggle to itch his head and his right cheek, just below his eye. Yup, I was thinking to myself, looks like he's gettin' ever more ready to make that cross pretty soon. He was probably in some pain we'll never know but now that's gone...and that's--to use one of Grandpa's words I remember--dandy knowing he's not suffering anymore. Our whole visit lasted all of ten minutes, if that. The previous time I'd seen Grandpa was last November when Aislinn and I came back for our Utah wedding shindig. He was walking around, seemed a little tired but was, ya know, bein' Chuck. The visit last Sunday was like night and day from November. Getting back in the car, I was quiet as some pretty massive waves of emotion hit. I remember feeling a little angry too...just mystified that this disease of Alzheimer's could, well, do this to someone we all love so dearly...and how hard it is for other families too, I'm sure, that have to go through this. We went back to Grandma's place 'cause we was gonna have ourselves a good ol' fashion Maughan Weenie Roast. It helped a lot to be around the Fam and see Grandma...Eric and Debbie were there with Kash...Ryan and his wife showed up for a bit...and Dean and Virgie stopped by too. Had been a long time since I'd seen Uncle Dean too. I knew he was in rough shape too but you sure as hell wouldn't know it by talking to him. Still as gracious as ever. And, just like his brother Charles, still very insightful because he said something before they left that is gonna stick with me...I'm paraphrasing here but it was along the lines of, "Oh Charles and I will be seeing each other here pretty soon..." in his wonderful Dean-sing-songy voice. I walked back in the house, looked right at Mom and said, "You hear what Dean just said?" Mom and everyone in the kitchen just cracked a smile. Leave it to the Maughan brothers to reassure everyone else it's gonna be alright. I know it's not his time yet but I'm sure Grandpa's having fun seeing all the old siblings and gettin' Dean's room ready whenever that may be.

I'll tell ya another thing too: he loved the absolute hell outta his grandkids. And, man oh man, did I love him back. (Yup, more tears...here we go). Words cannot remotely do justice or even begin to encapsulate how I feel about him and how much I'll miss him. He touched more lives than he'll ever know and I was lucky enough to be there, basically, from the ground up. I have so many fond memories of living in Layton as a kid (and even a couple times through college.) The garden...the rabbits...the corn...the raspberry patches...burning the garbage...the sheds and how creepy I thought they were...standing in the front room and watching storms roll across the lake...hearing him talk about F16s and all the cool things he did at HAFB...bread and gravy...rolls with Grandma's homemade jam...so many more. Through my eyes as a kid, he was the first adult I thought was truly invincible. He was there for you at any time. He always listened. He thought about things and gave you his answer knowing he couldn't make the decision for you but you'd walk away knowing you'd be stupid not to take his advice. He loved to laugh too. Some of the best memories are being at the house and hearing Mom and Eric go back and forth with Grandma about something (Oh honestly, you two!!) and Grandpa just laughing on the couch, oftentimes with little tears rolling down his face knowing that Mom and Eric got Shirl pretty good. (Crimi-nut-ly, you two!! That's e-nough!!) And Grandpa was always good for a massive burp (either saying BURP as he burped or BRRAAAPPP...well played Chuck), in the house or out in the garden. Hey, where's Grandpa at? BBBBRRRRAAAAPPPP!!! Ahh, found him...he's in the raspberry patch. Those raspberries were the perfect topping for one of his favorite, and mine too, snacks: ice cream. I don't think there's ever been a time where Chuck and Shirl's didn't have some ice cream. Ice cream was always a treat before bedtime...after I'd watched Channel 5 weather 'cause I liked the clouds they used in their forecast, although soon as I heard the theme from MASH, I knew I had to hit the sack where he told awesome versions of Jack and the Beanstalk and Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Ice cream continued the bond throughout college when I'd stop by for some Sunday dinner after they got home from church. We'd gab about the news, sports...really anything. I was always fascinated by his opinions, especially as I got older. He was man of such faith and conviction and moral character. All of that informed his thoughts but he would never--as others have expressed too--judge others. Amazing, amazing man he was...

Love ya, Grandpa. Just plain ol' vanilla with a little chocolate sounds great...